Appeasing The Hay Gods

Yes, the annual hay sacrifice has been made and now the hay Gods have been appeased. Chip cut about six rows of the hay field this weekend and it had been drought dry. Yesterday afternoon the skys opened up and the rain came and it is supposed to continue raining all week.
Every year we lose a bit of hay and so we consider it a sacrifice so that the rest of the crop will come in well.

Also while moving the tedder from its parking spot, a wasp flew out from under it and nailed both me and Chip. Ouch!! So she has to find a new place to nest. Hopefully far from us :)

So today since it is rainy, perhaps we can rest, or maybe go check out some tractors. A great day for just hanging out and relaxing. Raka has come online and I am chatting with her right now. Oh, it is so great to talk to her :)

I think i will just tidy up the house and enjoy this day. It feels great now that the rain hads come and everything feels fresh. I am sure all the animals are quite relieved. Rusty has been sweating and panting and I have been wanting to give him a cool bath to make him feel a bit better. He used to love getting baths. He used to love playing in the water with me when we were younger.
Some days I long to revisit those times with us in our youth, playing and being best buddies. But that summer of my youth is long past and those carefree days of leisure have been replaced with work and responsibility. Yet, we are still together. Still friends. Though I sense that Russ is not as into me as he once was. Course he had his horse buddies, his girlfriend Peaches. He really doesn't care to be bothered anymore. Big hairy clod :)

There is a bird singing out there. Looks like it has stopped raining. Maybe I can get my cantaloupe seeds planted today. Hopefully it will not be too hot out there. I have almost got the spreader unloaded and I can move the manure around the gardens a little bit. I love these quiet days. It is so nice to realize and appreciate a good thing. So often we just go about our busy days and forget to stop and smell the roses. We take the daily events of our lives for granted and do not look for the little pleasures that surround us every day.

So people, today take a moment to reflect and find something joyous about your life. Cherish it and nourish it, then pass it along to someone who also needs some love.

Peace

Hay

Last night Chip cut some of the hay field and we teddered it this morning. Now he is working on the rake and the new baler and guess what? Its Raining!! Not too much, Im sure, but ain't that the way things go?!

It is really hot and I spent the afternoon grocery shopping, baler twine shopping and gardening. Oh, and cleaning out the manure spreader. I am full of poop dust! So it is off to the shower for me.

I watched Two Soldiers and a couple of episodes of Mag 7 last night. Just what I needed to ground myself again! Ahhhh.

People keep saying I am losing weight ( bless you ! ) and the guy at Tractor supply noticed I colored my hair yesterday. It is a little redder now. I'm really having fun with the coloring stuff. I am going to experiment until I find the right shade. Since I have never colored my hair before, it is kind of strange :)

Well, I think I will go out and stand in the rain for a while.

Ciao for now

This Week That Was ( and a picture of the stang)

Really, I have a lot to say in this post. Problem is, whenever I sit down to write, the thoughts just fly out of my head and what comes out is a bunch of drivel. A lot of new people have visited and commented on this blog and I would like to thank them for their interest and kind words. I hope you are all getting a little enjoyment out of this blog, cause that's what I'm here for :) It is really fun to look into other peoples lives and thoughts, and to see how they react to the everyday grind. So many out there show so much talent in their writing. There is no need to visit the library anymore. For the most part, these are real people sharing their real feelings. I have been told that my posts are very candid. Yes, it is a way to express the true me- the me that I sometimes hold back in other venues. It is so much easier to pour out my heart in this format, and anonymously. However, I am not exactly anonymous anymore. I feel as if I belong to a family of bloggers, others like me from all places in the world, from all cultures and religious beliefs, and we are pretty much all the same in spirit. How wonderfully refreshing!

This week was a busy one and one full of emotions that ran the gamut from elation to terror to devestation. Oh I am being a little dramatic there, but remember I want to be an actor :)

Started out busy busy busy at work. So many deals and problems that I felt I was going under. Then Thursday, I got my head back above water and got caught up- just in time for month end. Today, the computers were down until after noon. I did what I could and didn't have any real problems, and then Karen and I decided to go out for lunch, since we really couldn't work anyway. When we got back the computers were up and we could get started working. I paged Jon to see if he had some paperwork I needed to title a car, and Pete called me back and screamed at me to stop calling Jon, he's busy! I said " oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know..." and he yelled, well next time get up and look!! Then he SLAMMED the phone down, hanging up on me. Thats the part where I was devestated. I am a good employee. I work hard and do the best job I can, don't cause trouble and get along well with everyone. I DO NOT deserve to be spoken to like that. But I was so shocked and hurt that I couldn't speak cause I was afraid I would cry, I was that mad. So I sat there trembling in anger, blinking back tears and trying not to think about it. But then Stephanie paged Jon and I had to tell her to watch out for the wrath of Pete. Well, then I got upset all over again and had to calm myself down. I mean, it may not have been such a big deal to some people, but it was to me. Later I told Kathy what had happened and told her that I was thisclose to walking out because I am not accustomed to being treated in that manner and did not deserve to be disrespected like that. She asked if I wanted her to talk to Pete and I told her not to, that I was ok. But later Pete was SO friendly and nice to me, nicer than he has ever been. So I wonder if she said something, or if he just realized how badly he had behaved and was trying to make up for it. But, I am all caught up and they are closed Sunday and Monday for the holiday, so I shouldn't have too much to do before month end.

Also had to talk to the evil ones from Merchants Bank yesterday. I needed to find out lienholder information and not only did K.B. not know what she was doing, but she was a total witch to me as well. Then I said " you don't know who I am do you?" and she said not really and when I told her we used to work together, boy, did she change her tune! I told the girls at work what had happened to me at the bank, and they all had lots of nice things to say in my support. It was the first time I have been able to discuss it with anyone and it felt good to share. There are some strong personalities there at work, but when all the conditions are right, we get along just fine. If I were to leave, I would really miss Karen. And Sally invited us to a pig roast!! I think we would enjoy that.

Ok, terror. We went out to pull the cutter out of the field, and since Bella was up here at the house, Chip used the blue tractor. We were fine, him driving and me guiding the cutter ( its like 15 feet long) and then he came to the slope going into the creek and the tractor started to tip. You know how they say that it seems like something goes on for hours when it is only seconds, really? Well we did that. The rear wheel went like three feet in the air and it started to go over and I just thought "put it DOWN" to Chip, so he would drop the cutter and rebalance. He did really well and didn't panic ( though I thought for sure we would both pee our pants) and he lowered the cutter and the tractor put itself back on the ground. We quit for the night then and there thank God.

Elation: Today as I said, we went for lunch. The parking lot was crowded and very narrow and people started to park behind me so I only had a little room to get backed out. A guy in a truck pulled in and waved me on so I backed out and had to really manuever back and forth to keep from hitting the car behind me and the ones next to me. Quite a feat in an automatic, but near impossible in a stick! AND I DID IT!! Karen was happy for me and I was really proud because I didn't stall or anything. Ok, so you guys who have experience may think that's hardly worth a mention, but for me it was quite something.

And..... Got Magnificent Seven season 2, Afro Samauri, and Two Soldiers this week!! Time for a major Ron-A-Thon. Also am waiting on a French magazine with some pics of Ron, and a packet of clippings I got off EBAY. And Pat just mailed me and told me that Ron will be doing a movie called Vacuuming the Cat in between I Sell the Dead and HB2. Zowie, so much fun!

I was thinking about starting writing again. Maybe I could post short chapters to this blog and people could comment. Oh, I don't know.

Since it is a long weekend, I hope to get a lot of yardwork done. We got some seeds this week and I would like to get them planted. Brandy's garden is looking good, with the new pink flowers I planted. Only the best for you, my friend. So maybe I can work more on the gardens. And still have to finish unloading the turd hearse. And need to give the Mustang a bath. I need to give her a name. Any suggestions?

Here she is :)

It is 9:00 p.m. and just starting to get dark. The crickets are chirping and you can feel the heat dissipating and the cool dew coming. I think I will go out and look at the stars. It is that beautiful time of the evening when it is cooling down and just barely light, but light enough to see to walk in the woods or the pastures. It is very soothing and calming. The honeysuckles and black locust trees are blooming and the air is full of sweet perfume. I am really looking forward to this weekend and hope that I can get all my chores done and we can have pleanty of time for relaxing. Chip actually took the day off today, good for him. He needed that. He got Bella all cleaned up and her oil changed. Time to cut hay! Please pray that we get enough this year, as it is pretty dry right now and not growing as well as it could be.

Thanks again to all who are visiting this blog, and to those who comment. I appreciate your words. Finally got that picture to download Rajeev :)

Take care all

Love and Blessings

The Stang

Thought I would post a pic of my mustang for everyone, especially Rajeev, since he would really like one of his own. It is not a super hot rod or anything, but it IS my dream car and I love it. Here is a pic of it : huh! the picture didn't download. Lousy dial up! Will try again later.


Funny, someone traded in a really neat racing Mustang this weekend. Brand new 2007, blue, stick, white racing stripes. Not my taste- too souped up- but a really cool car. But they will be asking like $35,000.00 for it. Nah! I wouldn't spend that much money. I like my little pony.

Y'all would be proud of me too. I went to work and just hunkered down and worked on deal after deal, without spazzing out about all the work I had to do. I got quite a bit done, too. Remember this!

Didn't get to chat with Raka yesterday:( I was on early and had to run out and didn't get to chat. Hope all is well. You can e-mail me you know, Raka :)

Stephanie says someone she knows is giving away a golden puppy. Well, we will see.... Probably won't turn out to be anything anyway, but Karen thinks its a sign.

This weekend I went out in the pasture and all the calves gathered round to see me. They are so courious! So a couple of the braver ones tried to get close to me and then backed off. So I laid down on the ground and they all came right over to me and sniffed me and licked me. I love it!

Not much else to say really. It was a good day at work, and Chip had a good day too. I have to go out before it gets dark and unload the manure spreader.

Lots of love to everyone!

Simple Gifts

Today has been a wonderful day. John and the girls came out and while John and Chip went to the farm to work, the girls and I went shopping. We got my plates for the Mustang, got gas, went to Home Depot for mulch and to Minges' for pond plants and snails. When we got home, Hannah helped me redo my My Space page. I also juggled with Claire, and Olivia was all cute and funny. It was so much fun. The girls are so cute and I really enjoy spending time with them. They also brought me some iris and hostas, so I planted them in the garden.

I planted all of my pink plants in Brandy's garden. It looks really pretty now. I pulled the truck up alongside the garden and played Appalachian Spring while I planted. Oh, such beautiful music. For you my dear friend Bran.

Hannah is really good at web design, and I asked her to come back and help me some more. It is really neat all the things she can do.

So now the pond has its plants and snails, and Brandy's garden is well on its way. A lot got done today, even though we spent a lot of time having fun. Now I am going to go out and walk the place.

Blessings to all!!

Master Master

Yahoo!! I took my Notary exam yesterday and passed. I am now an official officer of the court!! When I got to work and told them, they were happy for me. Sally said that they should call me "Master Master" since I have my Master in Microsoft and now my Notary. So we had a lot of fun and teasing at my expense. We all are bonding so well. Its nice to feel good about the people you work with. I thought I would never be able to care about co workers again after the bank, but I find my heart opening up and letting these people in. ( the special ones at least). It was quite a day today at work. They held back deals all week because of a special promotion and gave them all to me today :( Yuck! But I got everything done that needed done for the promo and some of the other stuff, and have just 9 deals waiting for me Monday morning. And of course whatever else they sell this weekend. But I will get it all done. No pressure. No worries, mate. Remember, I am learning a life lesson here. I don't have to be in control of every little aspect of my job. There is always going to be something ( or a lot of somethings) up in the air, needing fixed. Just take it day by day and deal by deal. With my personality, I don't like to leave things undone. I like all the dishes washed, laundry done, bed made. It makes me more comfortable. But here, it just isn't like that. There will almost always be work waiting for me, no matter how much I do. So I will get used to it and not stress about it. This is good for me.

Karen left early today. Golly I missed her. She went to visit her brother and sister-in-law on their farm for the weekend. I hope she and Zoey are having a really good time. The weather should be perfect. Karen missed me being silly today. Stephanie had a radio, and Footloose came on and she turned it up and said we should dance. So I got up and did my best Kevin Bacon, and they were rolling. Kathy was watching me through her window and was laughing too. But after such a rough day, it was fun to cut loose and be crazy. And really, right now I am not one bit concerned with the work on my desk :)

So there is another thing to add to my list of accomplishments I have made for my 40th year. I am a Notary. And I am juggling two balls. I know that is not really juggling, but its something that I couldn't do last week :) Then a dear friend told me she used to juggle and ride the unicycle! Ha! I almost fell over! She is sooo cool!

We need to go to Bobby Mackey's bar and spend a night there too. It is haunted, you know, and famous. So a night in a haunted bar would be fun, and scarey. 'course the old farm house is supposed to be haunted too. Hmmm. I am rambling.

This weekend is supposed to be nice so I hope to get my flowers planted in Brandy's garden and get some more soil to add to it. Plus I have to plant the ivy and vine that Karen gave me. And the honeysuckle that Sally gave me. I love having the yard all pretty and full of flowers.

I am looking at the picture of Brandy that inspired my poem. It was taken in the spring after she had her stroke. She is laying in the back yard and was rolling on the ground and playing ad then looked up and smiled and I took the picture. Because of the film and the sun, the yard looks like it is golden colored. Plus she is a Golden Retriever, hence "Fields of Gold" Sorry Sting, didn't steal the name from you. Ah, someday old friend, someday.

Got to go to O'Charleys for dinner Wednesday night. Bonnie was behind me on the road and followed me into the driveway and asked if we wanted to go out. So we did! It was fun, especially since we almost never go out. The food wasn't all that good, but it was ok. And just getting to socialize with family was really neat. Bonnie is really great. She has really been nice to me and it was great fun to help with the family reunion last year. I wish we could spend more time together. Her husband Dave is really nice too. And they have a couple of really great kids. Its great to have family living close. Chips sister lives right next door, my mom and dad live next door, and Bonnie and Dave live next door. Of course, they live on the other side of the farm, so we are not all right on top of each other.

We have been spending a lot of time on the patio lately. It is so nice after it gets dark and we turn on my little lights that I made and hung in the ceiling rafters. Then we just curl up and watch tv and the stars. This is such a great life. It is wonderful to be content with your life and what you have. I really couldn't want for much more. Sure we could have more money and have the house remodeled like we want it, and make some improvements to the house, yard and farm. But really, those all are things we can accomplish with time ( and money) . And I have the greatest husband, and the bestest pets and friends.

Got two things from ebay this week!! A packet of clippings of Ron Perlman, and a French magazine with a picture of Ron and Opal. Can't wait till they come. I love getting clippings, because I can organize and categorize them and have lots of fun with them.

I've rambled enough for today. Hope everyone is having a good weekend. Love, and Peace to all!

New Baby

Oprah had a calf last night and she is a real cutie. We walked out early this morning and all the cows were in the back yard and the calves were all laying under a tree snoozing. It was beautiful, cool early morning air and the sun just rising above the horizon. Ahhh, what a life. I know that it is a lot of hard work, dirt and heartache some times, but the beauty of it all-the peacefulness and blessings that it provides- far outweigh the hardships. Chip got the turd hearse ( manure spreader) going again yesterday and spread like 8 loads. Many more to go. Those cows sure can produce the poop. If we could bag it and sell it we'd be rich fer sure! And last night I got more seeds planted, so the yard and gardens are going to look really pretty come summer ( I hope ) .

Still need to get some flowers for Brandy's garden, and some water hyacinths for the pond so the fish have some cover. Chip suggested that I ask Karen to go shopping with me since she likes gardening too. Maybe we can go some day at lunch and do just that. I like having someone to give me her opinion of what looks good.

Waiting for Raka to come online for our chat, then have to go to Mom's and give her her mothers day present. Then some more gardening and mowing and wash the Mustang, and maybe band those new bull calves ( sorry Bruno). Oh golly, the day is so pretty, and yesterday it was so nice too.

Have decided not to freak out over how many car deals I may have to do this week. Last week I had just got caught up by Friday. Remember, I don't like not being caught up on a daily basis, but am going to have to get used to it. It is out of my hands how many cars they sell. Just go with the flow, Cin. Besides, nobody else is stressing. And I promised myself that I would not stress either. One day at a time. Got to study for the Notary. Golly, golly, golly. But I did study and get my Masters in Microsoft... so I can do this too.

Ron will be filming I Sell The Dead, in New York in June. Heeee. Once again, Ron Perlman and Zombies, what's not to like.

I really enjoy having the day to do things that I want to do. I can just putter around and do a little here and a little there.

I read Rajeevs blog for the first time yesterday. He is really great! A very talented writer. He is so much more intellectual than I am. And his words are beautiful and thought provoking. I am so lucky to have become a part of this "Blog World" and to meet all these wonderful people. It is quite uplifting to know that there are good, caring souls out there all over the world. You get to meet so few of them in your day to day lives, but the internet is opening this whole new opportunity to us all, bringing us together. There is so much strife and pain in the world, but people all over are coming together through shared ideals and beliefs. Even though we all come from different cultures, we all share a common goal- to live our lives for the good and to learn and grow and share and love. Oh what wonderful things we can all learn from one another.

So this is dedicated to all of you out there. The friends that I have come to know, and those still waiting to be discovered. May you all have Peace and Joy!

Saturday Ramblings

What a beautiful day today is turning out to be! Tina called and the kids aren't coming out today, which is a bummer on one hand, but on the other, it gives me the whole day to myself and Chip.The house is clean, the lawn is mowed. I got my tomato and pepper plants planted, and also some Zinnia seeds that Karen gave me. And some other seeds as well. So the yard looks pretty good if I do say so myself. Ahhhhh.. I haven't felt this good in a while. Its so nice to be outside in the fresh air, getting things done.

Later tonight when it cools off I am planning on taking a walk in the woods. Maybe I will find a baby fawn or foxes or something fun. I need to get back to my exercise regime. The windchimes are ringing in the yard, which means that the wind must be blowing a bit. Ah yes, there it is now, a cool breeze coming in the window. I think I will go out and sit on the porch for a bit until Chip gets back from the farm. Then we are going to go to the Home Depot and get some stuff, and then to Taco Bell ( our big night out haa haa) for dinner.

Wow, I am a little achy from all the gardening. All of a sudden my back is wanting to seize up. I guess I better get a hot shower and rest it a bit so I can do some more tomorrow. Nothing much interesting is happening, so I think I will just sign off and maybe I will have some fascinating thing to say tomorrow Hmmmmm...

Thoughts

This week was both relatively quiet and also pretty stressful. Now how can it be both ways, you might ask. Well, I had lots of deals to do at work and only just got caught up today. But nothing stressed me out to the max. I just don't like being totally caught up each day, but that's something I will have to get used to. Plus I had this awful experience with the license bureau on Thursday. Lady really pissed me off. She did not know how to process my title to the van over to Prudy and Mike, so she was giving us all kinds of trouble and then flat out refused to do it for us. You all know that bad customer service really drives me wild. Plus its been kind of hot and I hate being hot and sweaty. It only puts me in a bad mood. But all in all it has not been a bad week for me.

Karen seemed to be feeling a little better today, so thats a good thing. And Sally brought me some lemonade honeysuckle. I have to try to root it cause it is gorgeous and I think it will look great at the house. Karen "stole" a piece too :)

I finished reading Marley and Me and it was a really good book. Of course, it made me cry. But in a good way. I am just now beginning to get my grief over Brandy under control. Funny, when she first died, I missed her horribly, but lately, I have missed her more than ever. It is like a hole has opened up inside my heart where she used to be. But I have been given some pretty strong "signs" that she is still out there, so I must just be patient and let her come to me when she's ready.

Its really hot. Muggy and humid. I imagine it is pretty much worse in India. Raka talks of the heat sometimes, and it must really be blistering there. What would she think about the snow and ice storms we had last winter? I like it best when the weather is in-between. Like in the fall when it is still warm, but cool and crisp too.

When I got home tonight, Chip was mowing the front yard, so I changed clothes and got out the hand mower and we got some of the back yard done too. That way there is less work to do tomorrow. I would like to plant the ivy that Karen gave me and the tomato and pepper plants we got. And the kids are coming over tomorrow. I promised that we could bring Rusty up to the house and give him a bath. He will like that. Since he is not shedding out, he gets all these hunks of hair all over himself and gets really hot and sweaty. Maybe we can get all the loose hair off and get him good and clean and he will feel a lot better.

None of us has felt too well this week. Sinus or allergies or something. Lets hope that the weekend will be a great time for us to recover and we will all feel much better.

Karen took me out to IHOP for my birthday on Monday. (thank you, Karen!) And Kathy took me out to Cracker Barrel on Wednesday ( thanks Kathy!) Its so nice to have friends. I want to get Karen to come out and drive the Mustang with me. She has never driven a stick, so it is time for her to learn, just like me.

So far, one week into my 40th year, I have accomplished a few things:

Made healthy meals all week
Driven the Mustang
did not stress about work

Lots more to come. Lets see... I have to find a bar with a mechanical bull. A place to fire walk. I am going to learn to belly dance ( I have plenty of belly) and to juggle. I would also like to climb the Purple People Bridge. Since I am terrified of heights, that would be a good one. Plus, there is sure to be more. Any ideas, people? What do you think I could try?

Strangely, I feel a little older this week. I know thats silly. But I looked in the mirror and saw a much older person in there ( albeit much, much happier and more grounded). So my goals are to become healthier and stronger, and as always, wiser. I keep remembering people that I have run into who seem like just random meetings, but may be much more. People who touch your life for only a few moments, but leave a memory behind...the lady at the grocery store with the farm, the lady at the store who wished me a happy New Years, so many more. And then there are the people who you get to know who touch you so much more, and luckily, you get to be around them a lot.

So this blog is about my journey (we already knew that) and now I am even more determined to learn and grow more. I just need to be less obsessive about some of the things that take up my time, like housecleaning and work. Do what needs to be done with a happy heart and then go on to do what you love to do. I haven't taken much time for Ron Perlman lately. Well, that is one dream that I may never realize. But then again..... Ah, Ronnie. Again, it is the journey that is the joy, not just the destination. I am thankful for so many things in my life and have truly been blessed. I just need to be sure to make time for myself and for Chip, so we can do the things we love. Its nice to be able to relax and enjoy things.

Getting a little headachy and I think I will go and get a shower now and then put on a load of laundry. That way all I have to do tomorrow is vacuum and mop and the house will be all clean!
Also have to study for my Notary exam. That is next week and I am really nervous. Keep your fingers crossed for me, ok?

So peace to all!

To Friends...

Karen, my dear friend, has been having a couple of bad days. I want to tell her how much I care, but it is so hard to find the right words to say. I am afraid that I have no business offering her advice, and that perhaps it is only making her more upset. But she needs to know how much we care about her and want to help her. I wish I knew what to say or do to make it all better for her. She has been there for me with my anxieties about work and month end, and my feelings and grief over Brandy. I've really grown fond of her. And again, it is scary, because I am so afraid to trust again. What if she doesnt really like me? We are so alike, and have so much in common- love lots of the same things and feel the same way about lots of stuff. I think thats how you know that you truly care about someone, when it hurts you that they are hurting. So, I want to let her know that I care, and that things will go her way. What can I do to show her that? Any advice?

Raka, too has had some issues to deal with lately. I think all is well again and she has recieved the desired outcome. If so I am happy for her. She is someone who I cannot stand to see hurt as well. I missed our chat on Sunday because I had to go to my parents and thought I would be right back but ended up staying later and couldn't get online. So much I wanted to talk about with her. But there is always next week. And always e-mail ( hint, hint).

Here, just a year ago I was so lonely and dissilusioned. Now life has so much meaning again, thanks in so many parts to my friends. You girls really are great! Lots of love to you both, and to everyone who reads this, love and care for one another.

Peace out!

Reflections

This certainly was a week! I have already told you about my little "meltdown", and the last couple of days have been relatively stress free. It is a little overcast and kind of muggy out. The house feels damp inside, but in a nice way- not exactly uncomfortable. I have the bed sheets in the washer, and my hands smell of laundry detergent, mmmmmm. The cows are right outside my window, grazing through for their evening meal and the calves are mooing to one another. It reminds me of when Brodie was here and he would call out to me when he was bored. There is a gentle breeze blowing the curtains out and the birds are singing. I can hear baby birds peeping in the tree next to the house. What a wonderful evening.

I am going to write down the things that happened this week that stressed me out, so I can realize that those factors will never all occur at the same time again. It was end of month and a very busy one. Ok that will most definitely happen again. But the bunch of work was not what caused me stress. It was not knowing how to do some of it, and not having anyone to ask, and me putting the pressure on myself to get it ALL done that day. Next time, I will know more, will have more confidence and experience and will be faster. I know the things that have to be done and the things that can wait till I get caught up. I know I can handle oodles of deals, because I did this week- and I did all of those deals completely, too, not just the one part of them that had to be done by month end. See, I have to be organized and it is easier for me to do one thing completely and go on to the next, than to do bits and pieces of each one and keep going back to finish.But I will have to recondition myself to the fact that I have no control of the amount of work that comes in and so cannot plan on it. Go with the flow, Cin.

Karen gave me some beautiful ivy vines today. She had clipped them from her main plant and nurtured them for me, and boy are they beautiful! I can't wait to get them planted. I need to find the perfect spot. I have a sedum plant started for her and will probably take that to her one day next week. The other day she talked me into going to lunch by telling me I had to take her to get some tomato plants at the nursery. It was such fun! I love going to those places and it was nice to have someone to go with. Its like the sister I always wanted :) Then we went to Frisch's and grabbed some burgers to take back to work with us.

I still long for a Golden puppy. I know when the time is right, we will find her. Strange how my life revolves around the animals. They never have an agenda, they never use you. All they want to do is love you. Well, they want you to feed them too.

Since my birthday is this Sunday, I have decided that I am going to start an exercise and diet regime. For real. Also, I am going to do new and exciting things, even if I am scared. I am going to take better care of myself and learn more.

Mom is getting me Magnificent Seven Season 2 for my birthday. I can't wait till it comes out. That is one of my favorite Ron Perlman shows. Plus there are some other dvds coming out soon. I feel like a film fest, but this weekend will be busy. The kids, Shawna and Shain are coming over tomorrow, and then tomorrow night is Sydneys recital.

When I blog, I feel free and alive. Sometimes the words just flow from my heart, and others it is hard to actually think of things to say. But it sure is fun! I got to have a nice long chat with Raka last Sunday, and Chip even got on and bantered with her. I miss us not e mailing each other regularly, but we are both so busy and we do keep up with each others blogs. Had I not started blogging, I never would have found her. Another treasure that I have found when I wasn't looking.

Well, I am getting really tired, and need to put the sheets in the dryer so I can get the bed made. One of the greatest things in life is to slide into a freshly laundered bed and read a few pages of a good book before drifting off to sleep.

May all your dreams be good

MELT DOWN

Yes, folks, I did it. I went and had a melt down at work. Recipe: End of month, lots of pressure, wierd stuff I have never seen before, and no one to help me. Mix 'em all together , add a few pushes from the boss. Stew for 14 hours with no break. Results- total nervous break down! And really, now that I have come to my senses again, it wasn't great, but I survived. Y'see, I had to prove to myself that I could do it. But even though I stayed really late on Monday, they stayed open till midnight and continued to sell cars so when I came in on Tuesday thinking I was pretty much caught up, there was a giant mess on my hands. So I lost it. I could have just quietly cried all over my desk, but my friends ( bless you guys) kept trying to comfort me and handing me tissues and that just made me cry. I felt really stupid, but they assured me that they had done the same on occasion. God Bless you Karen and Sally and Stephanie. You stood by me and really helped me to feel better. And the best thing was the next day there was this cute vase full of beautiful flowers on my desk. "They are beautiful" Karen ! So things have been much better the last two days and I am feeling much better. And even closer to my new pals. So again, I need to remember that there may be days that are really hard at work, but I can do it and it always gets better again. I don't know what I would have done without you guys :)

Really tired, but I wanted to mention this so I have it reserved in my memory banks. We went driving tonight and Chip said he can see that I am becoming a lot more confident. Yesterday was our 10 year wedding anniversary and he got me some beautiful purple and pink flowers and a nice card. I love cards. I love Chip. So, tomorrow is my regular blog night, but I had a few minutes to write, so I wanted to post this. I am taking my Notary test on the 17th, (thanks again, Karen) and hope I pass it. Keep your fingers crossed :)

Talk at ya all later
take care of yourselves and each other