Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Mad at the World

Thats right, so mad as a matter of fact that I really cant blog about it right now. I have already vented to my best bud Karen, and the steam is dissipating a bit, but I could smack someone (or quite a few someones, actually). Is it not bad enough that I have suffered with the stomach flu since Sunday and have spent more time in the bathroom in the last 4 days than I have all year? Well, it is all about work again, as always. I dont know whats wrong with me. I try to mind my own business and do my job well, and the bitches just pick at me anyway. Where is the justice in all that? I haven't done anything to them, and I AM doing my job, yet they are complaining and criticising and picking and now matter how much I try to avoid them and their drama, boom! they drag me in. Where is Karma? Here I have been trying to be all Taoist, and peaceful, and the universe seems to be shitting on me. Seems like the kinder, gentler Cindy is not working out. It is just causing people to see me as weak and to pick on me. So I guess since that is not working I best try a new strategy and start sticking up for myself. Problem is, how can I do this at work? First time I get nasty back at one of those harpes, for sure it will be me that gets into trouble. Seems like some of them are untouchable and can do and say anything and not have a care in the world. Let me complain and Oh-My-God, the world is at an end. Ok, so the world is not fair. And instead of feeling so hurt and frustrated over it I need to realize that there is nothing I can do about it and just accept it and let it go. I cant stop them from bugging me, so I just have to protect myself as best I can and become immune to it. I still have to have faith that the Universe will protect me and justice will be done, but it is really hard based on the things that happened today. It seemed like no matter what I said ( and it was the truth) it was obvious that they were doubtful that I was being honest. And nothing pisses me off more than having my integrity questioned. Jennifer actually (Oh no she di-int ! ) said she thought I came to her with my problem because I wanted to run and give her my side of the story before the evil KB told on me. How insulting is that? And even though I stated several times that that was not the case, she just shrugged her shoulders like she didn't believe me and didn't care. So what do you think about that?? See why I feel like I have been deserted by all that is good and fair? Ok, I have a great personal life. I mean besides the old dogs peeing up the place and keeping us up all night to be let out AFTER they have already peed, etc, etc. But really, except for work, life is great. Do you think that things will calm down and justice will prevail and I will be recognized for my strong work ethic and the bitches will either leave me alone or spontaneously combust? Time for a new attitude. Jennifer said she does not keep a score card. So I will keep one of my own. And we are not given performance reviews, or raises based on merit, so what am I concerned with anyway? Just so I am confident, thats all I can count on. And if I stop counting on people and giving them credit and respect, then I won't be so disappointed when things dont go fairly.
Anybody have a spell to banish bitches??

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