Did You Ever Notice...

Ever notice that the less time you have, the more you get done? Really!

The cops came to the door the other night. Someone had seen a calf on the road and called, and the officer stopped to tell us. He was really worried about our new gooseneck trailer by the road. He said he goes by every night and watches it to be sure no one steals it cause "its a real nice trailer". Nice to know someone is looking out for us. Next day my mom asked us if we were the people that had the police call for the cows out. Yup, mom, that was us. We spent the whole day fixing fence and moved the trailer away from the road.

The weather has broken and it is beginning to feel like fall. We got a couple of inches of rain last weekend, so the grass is beginning to come back. We also bought a new baler. The old one is for sale.

Ron Perlman was supposed to be in North Carolina Sept. 7 and 8 to do a play " Will the Circle Be Unbroken" by Studs Terkel, but he bowed out to accept a film project. I wonder what film that would be?

Still looking for all things Ron Perlman. I love adding to my collection. Will I ever get to meet him?? Remember, I am not some crazed stalker. Just really appreciate his work. If I WERE to get to be an actor ( the lifelong dream that I so recently decided was impossible) he is who would inspire me.

Still searching for my purpose. I checked out a Dr. Phil book and am reading that. It is out there.

Blessings to all.

My Little Boy Is Growing Up

This morning while having breakfast on the back porch, the cows came by the back pasture and Brodie got very excited. I took off his halter and let him go out to them and they all played and bucked and ran like crazy. It was so nice to see him interacting with his own kind. Now I know how mothers feel when they take their kids to the first day of kindergarden. I was so worried about him, and then so happy to see him getting along with the other kids. He really enjoyed himself. My little man.

Thinking about getting another horse lately. Now I know that that is absolutely ridiculous. We already have four, but they are all retired and I'd like something to ride. Peaches could be broken, still, but I am getting too old to take on wild horses. At 18, sure, but 38...too smart now. I remember all the wild rides I had with Rusty, and we both were just kids. I did get Peach tamed, and we have been on her a couple of times, but not in a long time and I don't know how she'd behave. Something to consider.

I believe that I will go out and go for a walk. It is just now getting dark and cooling off, so I can walk the place and enjoy nature. We really are so lucky. People actually pay to go to a park to do the things that we can do in our own backyard. We really are blessed. I guess that me giving up my dream of acting isn't so awful bad. It still hurts, but there are so many blessings in my life. I know that the Universe has something wonderful planned for me that will be fulfilling to my soul, and also to others as well.

Things I Found When I Wasn't Looking

Probably the most important one... Chip's wallet. Buried somewhere in the hayfield for 10 years, it fell out of his pocket while plowing one day. He always teased me that he would marry me if I ever found it. A little history - I am always finding things, and at the time he was terrified of marriage, and probably never thought I would find it. Well, FOUND IT!! Wasn't looking, just walking the field one day years later, something said to look down, and I did and there it was, just a little corner sticking out of the ground. Chip kept his word :)

Lots of neat old bottles, perfume, medicine etc.

A nickle, after Chip cleared a wooded area. Very old. Told you I was lucky at finding things.

A couple of really large deer antlers.

Arrow heads, old bones and teeth, keys, coin from 1800 foreign country ( how did it get here?)

Chip

Ron Perlman

Lots of other stuff. I am always finding money. But those above are the neatest of them.

Talked to the video store guy today. I really have to get his name. We discussed our favorite Ron Perlman movies. I told him I'd let him borrow Primal Force. They are hiring and I asked about the position, but it is for nights and I really don't want to do that. We had a pretty good conversation. He's a nice guy. He thinks Ron's greatest movie so far is City of Lost Children. I agree. And Desperation comes out next week. He said he watched it already and it was pretty good on DVD. It is so nice to talk to someone else who admires Ron's work.

All Quiet on Guinea Run Farm

Last night we put out a protein tub and put up new fence by the street. The fence is HOT! Looks like the girls have decided to behave.

Chip and I watched How to go out on a Date in Queens yesterday. He enjoyed it too. I love it when he watches Ron Perlman movies with me.

Have promised myself that I am going to study hard today. I have been in such a rut and just need to get this over with and take the test for Powerpoint. I mean, I have already done all the hard stuff- Word and Excel Expert, and Access. This should be a piece of cake. Then I will have the Master Certification. I can rule the world!!

Here is a picture of some of the cows. Not really a great picture but its what I have.
And now I am going to study.

How to go out on a Date in Queens

"Date in Queens" was released on DVD here yesterday and as promised, I was at the video store bright and early to rent their only copy. I immediately went home and popped it in. Figuring Chip would watch it with me later, I fast forwarded to Ron Perlman's parts and enjoyed. Really enjoyed. Alas, we were not able to watch the movie that evening, due to the fact that those damned cows decided that it was their perfect opportunity to make a break for greener pastures.

Now, there are no greener pastures, mind you. It has not rained in a long time and no hope for rain until at least the weekend. Those bovine bitches actually tore down a barn wall to get at the hay. It seems that the fact that we are putting bales of hay out every night for them is not enough. I am off to Tractor Supply today to get a couple of protein tubs for them to help supplement their diet. We replaced the barn wall last night, put out the hay, and I thought "hmmm, I'd better check by the road and be sure the cows aren't where they're not supposed to be". Well, of course they were.

So we go running to herd them all up and find out where they broke through the fence at. They ran up the field. They ran back down the field. We chased them back up the field. They turned right at the top and charged back down. I called them some words that I do not normally use.It did not phase them one bit. Sticks and stones....

So, ultimately we just let them be. Tonight we will repair the fence and get it hot. They try it again, we'll light them up! Such is life.

I think I will look for "Date in Queens" at the store when I go. If it is priced right, I will definitely get it. The last scene with Ron is well worth it! I wish he knew what a dedicated fan I am.

Ron Perlman Movies!!

Tomorrow "How to go out on a Date in Queens" comes out. I believe that I will be waiting at the store when the doors open. The video store manager and I have this Ron Perlman thing going. We keep each other posted as to what's new. He is looking forward ( as am I) to Desperation coming out next Tuesday. Maybe I should get a job there, I could watch the new stuff early.

5ive Girls comes out in October. Can't wait to see that either. Oh, Hell! I can't wait to see anything Ron Perlman. Now he is listed as going to be in Uwe Bolls "Postal". That should be fun. ( I may be saying that sarcastically) Will have to see Dungeon Seige before I decide. Lots of people are putting Boll down, but I will have to reserve judgement. No movie with Ron Perlman is a bad movie- at least not the parts he's in. I actually sat through Romeo is Bleeding just for that two minutes of Ron as the attorney.

I got another comment ( thank you very much!!). If anyone has any advice for me on my search for purpose, bring it on. The writing thing just keeps waving itself in front of my face. And I really do want to work with the elderly. I remember Harriet from "the bank" and how she just wanted a little human interaction. She would call every day to check her balance and ask questions, and we would then get into a conversation about her life, her past, etc. If I could have just gone over there and spent some time with her and read to her ( she was going blind) and kept her company it would have been great for both of us. If I could get a community center set up and get together all of the older people who were interested, we could make such a difference!! Where to begin, where to begin.

"The bank" was the most horrible experience of my life. Those people were out for blood and if you didn't watch out, they nailed you. Too much drama for me-it was like a big game of Survivor. Showed me I am a lot more resilient than I thought. And that got me to decide to go back to school. Hah! Showed them. I left on my terms, you didn't run me off Nickey-baby. But no ill will. I forgive you all, even though you were most heinous. Karma.

Today is a beautiful day. I believe that I will go out and take a walk on the place. Tomorrow maybe I will write about the things I have found out there.

Writing??

Hmmm, I wonder if writing is in my future? I loved doing that little bit of fanfic about the Magnificent Seven for my group, and got a lot of positive feedback. And now I have an idea for another story. How do I feel when I'm writing? It takes me away and I get lost in the moment. That has to be a good thing, doesn't it? Just like this blog, I do it for myself, with no real expectations of anyone reading it and liking it. But if someone did read and enjoy it then that would be a big bonus. I am a people pleaser. Its important to be kind to others and to do good things. It is just that a lot of people don't seem to share that same sentiment. But what a thrill when someone actually enjoys, or laughs at something I say. Jess at school said that she really liked talking to me because I listened and gave good advice, and made her feel better. Hmmmm... a counselor maybe??

Well, remember that right now I am just cruising for a while. I have faith that when the right thing appears to me, I will recognize it for real this time and go for it. And also that things fall right into place, so I know it is right. It is time for good things to begin happening for us.

Life without work
is guilt
Work without Art
brutality

Stop the World...

What a week this was! The water line to the house broke. The truck broke down. The tractor bucket hydraulics broke. And then the icing on the cake ladies and gentlemen... the TV blew up!
Yikes. We just got back with the repaired truck and a new tv. Now we have to figure out how to hook the thing up.

Some good things that happened this week... Our free DVD player came. I thought " maybe I should try to play that VCD of 'Boys on the Run' that won't play on our regular DVD player, or the computer, but NAH, why would it work?" Well, it DID work!! So I got to see another Ron Perlman movie and didn't even have to buy a new DVD player!

Brodie is growing. I taught him how to drink water out of a tub yesterday. He is still on the bottle and will be for a while, but its good that he is doing more on his own. I suppose that I am his mother, and that is really nice. These kinds of things are what you look back on and really appreciate. He is a really pretty guy. Here is a picture of him on our back porch...














Brodie the calf one day old


Life may have taken a giant crap on me lately, but I can get back up and brush myself off and keep going. Remember, I am seeking enlightenment. I WILL find my purpose.

Things I would like to do:

Work with the elderly
Write short stories
Teach kids about finances
Act - which I have recently decided is not really possible
Meet Ron Perlman - still possible
Go to a beach
Ride a mechanical bull
Learn to dance
Learn dressage

My purpose may be hiding within any of these, or may be a whole new adventure entirely. Who knows?? I am just along for the ride.

Searching Part Two

I keep remembering that saying I made up - " The best things I've found in life, I found when I wasn't looking." Getting the feeling that maybe I have been looking too hard to find my purpose. I have been grasping at everything, desperately hopeful that it is the answer I'm looking for. Guess what Cin? NOT!! So, lets sit back, relax and let life come to me.

Feeling much better now, too. You know when you are so sick that you feel like you will never be well again? That's how I was feeling. BLAH!! Much better now. I thought I would have much more to say tonight, but I think I will save it for tomorrow. Blessings!

A Comment!!!

Zowie! I actually got a comment last night!! And a nice one at that! Thank you so much! You don't know how much that meant to me, but I am smiling, smiling, smiling. :)

Still Searching For My Purpose

This is so funny. I am still trying to find my path in life, my purpose. For the last very long while I wanted to act, but now I'm realizing that that is not gonna happen. The daydreams are great, but the reality is that : 1. I have no talent 2. I have never tried acting before 3. there is no place around to even try. Also realized that I probably will never meet Ron Perlman, who is like my hero actor. So this path has led me nowhere, and this has been very disappointing for me. So since things were not exactly working out on that path, I have formally decided to open myself up to finding another. I hope that I will be guided in the right direction. It is not that I am giving up on my former quest, just that it was not going well, not bringing happiness and fulfillment, and I take that to be a sign that it is not the correct path for me. It is kind of sad to resign myself to this fact. Almost like breaking up with a lover or something. These dreams have been such a part of my life for so long, and I have been faithfully following them, but if it were meant to be then things would have run along a lot more smoothly than they were. " If you ain't having fun, then it's not working" I read that somewhere. So now to get real and start to be open for a new adventure. I will trust that the right stuff will come my way and that I can discover a path of happiness and fulfillment, peace and joy.

Besides, my life is great just the way it is. I just want to do something for my soul. Something that helps other people. I just realized that my first dream was selfish, just for me and not very practical. There is so much more to life than that. I cannot depend on others and fantasies to give me pleasure and happiness in life. I know my true purpose is in me, I just have to find a way to find it and follow it. After the last few months, I feel like I have been beaten up. That is for sure a sign to open up to new possibilities and let fate take me where I need to go. I was just so stuck on that one thing, that I blinded myself to all others. Well, now I am ready to allow the universe to take me under its wings and guide me, if it will. I will never win the Nobel Prize or anything like that, but if I can bring happiness to others, help them in some way, then that will be just fine with me. C'mon Universe, show me the way.

Family Reunion

Today was crazy! Supposed to pick John up at 1:00, but by the time I got the truck packed at Bonnie's, we didn't get there till two. Then we had to go back and get the beer and take it back to the farm. Then we took Bonnie home and when we drove past the house, Chip was home already so we stopped and picked him up and he drove John home. Poor John!! He wanted to get home.

This weekend will be kind of a bust since we will be spending a lot of time in St. Leon getting ready for the picnic. Don't think we will go tonight, but tomorrow we will. Tonight we can just rest. It is so darn hot out there. Everyone is getting tired of the heat, and foul tempered. Cows are miserable, horses are miserable, dogs and people are miserable. I guess the best thing is to hole up in the house ( horses and cows excluded) and take it easy.

I ordered Seduced by a Thief off E-Bay. My Ron Perlman collection is growing! I love it when I can get hold of the rare stuff.

Time to go fix dinner. Cheese Conies tonight. Mmmmmmm. I am thinking of doing some more writing, but I'd better get Powerpoint down first, then I can relax and write. Oh! and there is that looking for a job thing too.
Toodles

Making Hay

My God!! We cut hay again. I spent all last night and some of this afternoon raking. We will bale tonight. Hope those cows appreciate it!!

Powerpoint is going well. I am enjoying it more as I get further into it, so hopefully I will "get it" and pass the test no problem. When I get my Master Certification, I will celebrate by getting the all region DVD player. Then I can play Ron Perlman movies from anywhere!

My Favorite Ron Perlman Movies ( in no particular order)
1 Primal Force
2 Alien Resurrection
3 Hellboy
4 Trial of Old Drum
5 Town Has Turned To Dust
6 Tinseltown
7 Blade II
8 City of Lost Children
9 Last Supper
10 Cronos

Thats only 10 of them. I really love them all. There are a few that I have not seen/don't own yet. My quest is to eventually have all of his movies in my collection. Either I am a great fan or a total nut case. Maybe I am both! Another goal is to start up a website or newsletter on Ron. I wish I could get in contact with him to see if it is ok with him and maybe get some news. I don't think he does that though. He probably likes his privacy. But if you're out there, Ron, you are great!