By Dose is Stupped Up

Yeah, I have a cold. And it was miserable for the beginning of the week too. Here we had this great 4 day weekend and I was sick. And I mean I was in bed all day Saturday. What a bummer. So then I go to work and I am hacking and sniffling and coughing. How miserable. And we had a bit of a meltdown on Tuesday morning what with wanting to get the calves out of here and the pressures of bad weather, lack of hay, old dogs to take care of and etc, etc. So when I got to work I felt all stressed and teary. Jennifer asked me what was wrong and as I was telling her, my eyes teared up and she felt bad so she took me in her office and gave me a tissue. I was laughing, too, because I was embarrassed to be looking so foolish in front of my boss, but she was really cool about it. I mean , she has kids, she knows what its like.

I am hoping to learn a lot more at work, because I am feeling lost at times since there is so much I cant do yet. But I know they will train me, just to be patient. And I have already picked up on a lot of things just by being in the office and can answer a good number of the questions I get. I just need to keep reminding myself that it takes time to learn these things and I have always done it before. I think that when I remind myself of that, it helps. A lot of it is attitude, and maybe I need to adopt a little different one, like less self conscious and more confident.

We are going to sell the calves this week. We planned to take them to auction on Wednesday but Dave just called and said he may bring someone over who might like to buy them. In that case we would have a buyer for future calves too. That would be so great. I was hoping that broker would have come by again this year, but Joe didnt bring him out. But if this other guy takes them , thats probably just as good. A dollar's a dollar. The babies are just starting to get really sweet too. Last year when I wasnt working I would go and sit with them and they would all come around me and sniff at me and play games with me. Well, I just hope we get a good price for them. We have worked really hard to produce quality calves and we deserve to get a premium for them.

Looks like Ron Perlman is going to be in a new movie coming up. He is just too busy. Good for his fans though.

Cant think of anything else to say. Talk to you soon.

Turkey and Stuffing

Ah, America. We celebrate this holiday called Thanksgiving, which is supposed to honor the Pilgrims and Indians joining together for a feast and of course to remind us to be thankful for our blessings. But really, it just seems to be another day of consumerism. Stores are open, and the poor employees have to work rather than be with their families, all in the name of profits. Of course some people choose to work, which is fine, but more often than not it is manditory for them. I know, I have been there and I choose never to go back again. Having the day off yesterday and today is something I am thankful for. I love a good sale as much as anybody, but I have learned to curb my desire for any old junk just because it is marked down. Too much stuff just weighs you down and holds you back. Yesterday I was cooking with a blue plastic spoon that I have had for 17 years, and I didnt even buy it, it was left on the counter along with several other utensils when I bought my first house. Sure. I am tempted to get some of those great new inventions ( the Margharita Master anyone?) but am mature enough now to realize that if I even do open the box at all, I will probably only use the thing once or twice and then throw it in the closet and then several years from now uncover it and take it to Goodwill. Yup, I am trying hard to keep from collecting gadgets and widgets and all manner of things that just take up space and cost too much. My vice? Ron Perlman of course. Hey, I work hard and obviously save my money ( see the 17 year old spoon above ) so if I wanna get some Ron stuff, so be it. I must admit that I havent really procured anything lately. Ebay has had all the same stuff listed and Rons new movies have not been released yet, so there are slim pickins right now. But anyway, I am just trying to say that life is much easier when you live it simply. And if I agonize over a purchase, then it makes it that much more special to me if I do go ahead and buy it. Instant gratification is so overrated. And that brings us to this question... Should I use the money I have been saving to buy a laptop, or a great Dyson vacuum cleaner? Or maybe neither and just keep saving? Any advice?

My mom and dad came over and they seemed to enjoy the meal. That makes me feel good. Chip and I cooked the stuffing together as is our tradition and it turned out great as always. I would love to make it more often, but then it probably would not taste as good or be as special as it is just once a year. And today we got up and actually went out for breakfast and to Walgreens to get some reading glasses for Chip cause they had a special buy 1 get 2 free. And then we got some feed for the calves and came home and went to the farm and cut down some trees and started a fire to clean up. It was a really nice day. But I have felt like I am coming down with something for the last few days and this morning I woke up with a sore throat an am hoping I dont get a cold. Plus I have been in a bad mood too. But I felt much better yesterday and today was ok if it werent for the darn sore throat. Yesterday when my mom and dad got here, I poured a little Southern Comfort in my 7-up and that made my mood a whole lot better, especially when Annie got so excited that she peed on my mom and the kitchen floor that I had just mopped. Yeah, my life seems to revolve around some animals bodily fluids.

So tonight I believe that I will curl up with a book and rest. I am going to make a pot of vegetable soup tomorrow so that will be nice and warm and cozy. These last two days have just flown by, which stinks because we have been looking forward to having four days off. I love long weekends and getting lots of stuff done.

Karen had to work today and has been busy with craft shows and stuff, but I hope we can get together sometime soon. I cant wait to get started on Annies scrapbook. I need to take more pictures and to print out the ones I have already. And she is losing her baby teeth, so I am trying to get one of them.

Anyway, Blah, Blah, Blah, I have been going on and on. It was nice to mention Ron again, since I havent done so in quite some time. Haven't forgotten about you, buddy, just nothing new going on to talk about.

You all have a great night, and reflect on the things you are thankful for.

Love to all

Fowl Mood (pun intended)

I am having a mini meltdown for sure. No it really has nothing to do with Thanksgiving, that is all under control and no big deal. We just finished the first part of the stuffing and tomorrow we will add the bread cubes and stuff the turkey and stick it in the oven. What has me off is the fact that I cannot seem to keep a clean house. I run off on this tangent quite often, really, and I dont know why all of a sudden tonight I decided to have a tantrum about it but I sure did. Probably because Kiki took a crap on the ramp and Chip stepped in it causing him to ski down the ramp nearly busting his rear. Then he brings his slippers into the house slathered in shit and wants to clean them. Also it got on the rug on the patio. Then the cat gets on the table and gets hair all over ( god I hate cats and their evil way of getting on the counters and tables - that is sooo gross and I have no way of stopping them short of a couple of bullets. And the puppy is just driving me insane. Grabbing everything she can get her teeth into and racing around the house with it. She shredded a newspaper tonight while I was at the barn feeding and I got to clean that up right away. I have had a headache for days and was feeling quite ill this evening and just really wanted to take it easy and enjoy the beginning of a loooong weekend. But it just seems like I am always following everyone around with a mop and vacuum and constantly cleaning. Ugh! Whats a girl to do? I want a clean and cozy house, but it is so hard and frustrating to keep it that way. Well, I gotta quit the bitchin because I love the farm life, so I guess this is what I have to put up with. I hope I am racking up some major good karma here. ( or am I being punished with some bad karma?) AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! OK Look, I have 4 days to clean and get back into the groove of things. A couple of prozac wouldn't hurt either. I know that tomorrow is likely to be a bust in the cleaning dept because mom and dad are coming over for dinner so I will just get a good nights rest tonight ( hopefully) and then clean a little tomorrow and then not let anything bother me after that until after they leave and then a little more cleaning and then on Friday I can get an early start on Really cleaning and maybe a little decorating and then I should feel better. A nice walk in the woods may help too, but its raining today and that doesnt help much because then there are all these wet leaves and everything all over and that just makes it feel dirtier. See what I mean? But heres my plan:

Get Turkey started
have a drink
Vacuum
have a drink
Mop
have a drink
clean bathrooms
take a prozac
sweep patio and maybe put out some decorations
greet my guests and feed them and clean up after them
put prozac in a drink and float into oblivion

No, seriously. I really dont drink that much, and I have never been drunk. I am just being facetious.

And last weekend I shampooed all the carpets and cleaned all the woodwork and stuff and the house felt marvelously clean so I know that I can have that again. Just relax, Cin, there is more to life than a spotless house.

So if anyone reads this and has any advice, I would love to hear it. I could really use some encouragement. But no matter.. Happy Thanksgiving to all! May you all have safe travels and days filled with joy, peace and thankfulness.

Hello Blog!

It is hard to believe that Thanksgiving is next week. Where did this year go? So many things have happened this year, and it seems to have whizzed by. There are so many things that I am thankful for, it would take days to list them all, so I will go with an abbreviated version and say that....

I am Thankful For:

My husband, Chip and our wonderful loving relationship
our health
our security
my job
my friends ( well, really my real friend)
my family
the opportunity granted by God to live on this farm and care for all these wonderful animals
that I can be patient with the above :)

So many more

It is pretty late and I am really exhausted. This week was a little more interesting at work because I am backing up Jill while she is on vacation, so I had to learn some of her work. I now go to the Sheriffs office and deliver paperwork, and process parent ed class scheduling and court appointed attorneys, and guardian ad litems. So I have been busy the last two days and Jill will be out all next week. Of course, we are off on Thursday and Friday. Hmmm I am looking forwared to another long weekend.

Tomorrow I am going to clean the carpets. Last weekend I got a lot of stuff done in the house, cleaning out the closets and polishing all the wood furniture, doors and baseboards. It felt so great last Monday and I hope to maintain that wonderful feeling.

Karen got a new Jeep!! Yay for you, girl! I cant wait to see it.
Annie is being a good girl. The other day while I was checking email she came in and pawed my arm to get my attention and then I realized that she had Chips hat in her mouth. As soon as I looked at her, she shook the hat a couple of times and raced out of the room. Smart girl wanted to play. It was cute.

Not much else to report. Still hoping to sell the calves, as Joe didnt come up with a buyer that is willing to pay what we are asking per pound. But they are great calves and we are asking a fair price according to the market. So please pray that we will sell them and get a good deal.

Well, I have earned a little rest. I am gonna curl up on the couch and look at my new Martha Stewart magazine. Hope everyone is well and happy, love to you all.

Beautiful Day

Yesterday was one of the most beautiful days that I can ever remember. The weather was perfect, in the 60's and breezy and the sun came out every so often to warm things up a bit. Besides that, I felt so great. It is really hard to describe in words how I felt, but I want to remember the feeling. It was uplifting and calm, grounded and joyous. I felt like there was no pressure to do any certain thing at any certain time. The house was clean, and it felt really clean to me, satisfying. Chip and I worked together at the farm, he on the well house door and I cleaned up around the barnyard and checked on the calves. Then we went for lunch and then went to Burwinkles to pick up the next load of corn shalk bales and had a nice conversation with him. He is such a nice guy and I really like him. Then I ran to the library and took back all the books I had and that made me feel like I had got even more done and I picked up a couple of good books that I am looking forward to reading. Then Joe came over and we discussed a bid on the calves ( still in negotiation) and then back home and a little more house cleaning and resting for the rest of the night. I even opened the doors and windows and turned the fan on to air out the house. I haven't felt this uplifted and right in a long time and I dont want to forget the feeling. This is proof that I can feel this good. It is so hard to really describe the feeling itself, but it was one of being so content and happy and relaxed. Oh, I hope we have many many more days like this. And I hope that all of you can also have such wonderful times.

Nature of The Beast

This was one of those weeks, at least the last several days were. Phew! I am physically and emotionally exhausted and looking forward to the weekend and getting grounded again. A clean house and a good walk or two in the woods should help tremendously. Where shall I begin? Oh , I know...

Saturday John and the girls came out to cut some firewood so Chip and I helped them load it. I knew there were some suspicious vines on the logs, but figured that it was cold enough now that any poison would be killed off. WRONG!! By Monday I was itching, but just on my arm so I wasnt really worried about it. By Monday night I was scratching all over and my eye was swelling shut. ( Have you ever tried to scratch your eye? ) This crud was all over me. My face, neck, ears, eyes, stomach and arms. Nothing on the nether regions though thank God. I had a seminar on Tuesday for the new retirement benefits so I wanted to go to work for at least that and then figured I would see what my boss wanted me to do. Well, she was mortified at how I looked and of course I was scared that I could possibly be contagious. ( did I tell you guys about the lady last Friday that came in with scabies?) So I told her I would make a doctor appointment and get it checked out. Went to the seminar ( we have great benefits guys! ) and then went on home since my appt wasnt until 3:45. Stopped at the grocery and got tons of stuff since I had the time to shop and figured that way it was done for the week. Then I stopped at Target to check out a new shower curtain and found one that was normally 25 dollars on sale for 6 dollars. Bargain! So I happily went to the doctor, who didnt know what exactly I had gotten myself into, but assured me that I wasnt contagious and gave me a perscription for some steroids. Yay! I love steroids. Usually I lose 10 pounds while on them. Doesnt seem like it is doing that this time, but i still have a few days and most importantly, the rash is healing well.

We have been working on getting the calves into the barn so we can sell them. So every night we go down and feed and pull a calf or two out of the bunch and get them in the paddock. Tonight some babies ran through the electric fence and got themselves in with the older calves, meaning that we had to get them out. What a fiasco. Really, just a normal day on Guinea Run Farm - crazy.

Last night I came home from work, already tired and sore and just wanting to relax after we got done with the cows, and going to the porce, there was Kiki laying in the pond. Sheesh! You know, she weighs 80 pounds and here I was in my work clothes desperately trying to pull her out. I did get her and dragged her to the ramp and into the house where I blow dried her. Of course my carpet soaked up most of the muddy murky water. And we all know what a fanatic I used to be about clean carpets. So then I realized that Whitey had piddled on the carpet as well. That sent me over the edge. All I wanted to do was get home, shower, fix dinner and relax. Yeah, that was gonna happen. So I made myself a little drink. And then I added a bit more Seagrams. And then I just felt like it didnt matter that the floor was dirty. Mission accomplished.

So this weekend I have a lot of cleaning to do and at this moment I am up for it. I hope I am feeling as encouraged about it tomorrow. I am beginning to feel nesty again now that winter is coming. Still not sure if I will decorate for Christmas much since the puppy is still in her "grab whatever you can and eat it" phase. But maybe I can turn the living room into a Christmas paradise, since we have the baby gate barricading the room from the rest of the house.

And today was a real winner at work. From first thing this morning it was crazy. People were rude and unreasonable. But really, the more comfortable I am with what I am doing and the more capable I get, the easier it is to deal with crazy days. Soon it will be old hat. Oh, and I was telling the gils about Kiki falling in the pond and my adventures and they were lauging and telling me how funny my stories are. And then Megan said I should write a book about my life cause it is so funny. Little does she know that that is one of the things I would love to do, so I was truly flattered. It really makes you feel good when someone likes to hear your stories.

So, Chip reminded me that I love animals and the farm and I love this life that we live and that all of this is just a part of that. Sure, the carpet will never be spotless, and the animals will be constantly getting into some kind of adventure and dragging their dirt into the house with them. Sure there will always be more chores than we can ever finish. But that my friends, is the nature of this beast. And I love it.

Post II

Wow! Karen just emailed me and after reading it, I feel so emotional. God I miss her so much. Yeah, probably I am not blogging as much because there is so little stress in my life now that I have this great job. But I still feel that it is a way to express myself and to remember all the things that are important to me. I wanna get Southwest Chicken Salads and yogurt parfaits and sit with Karen and bitch about everything. I wanna look over and roll my eyes at her when Steph gets a call on her cell phone and spends an hour talking. For all the years of being a loner and not trusting anyone, this friendship makes up for it all. Karen, remember the things we said to each other about betrayal and trust? I truly mean it and always will. I promise.

Ok, time to get a shower. Enjoy your weekend my friend.

A Rude Awakening

Ok, so last night there I was in dreamland, sleeping really soundly when all of a sudden there was a huge commotion in the family room between the dogs. Ugh! I looked at the clock and it was 12:30. I had drank a glass of wine with dinner and it was working so well to make me feel all sleepy and cozy, and now this. When I got to the family room I could see that Annie was playing with the bunny rabbit toy that Karen had given her. Only...wait a minute. Was that toy really that big? What is all that red stuff all over the carpet?? When I touched it was the moment I realized that this was no toy, but actually the biggest rabbit I had ever seen. The cat evidentally brought it in and there were bunny bits all over my house, thank you very much. Annie got a little viscious with me trying to take it out of her mouth and I dont like that at all. No dog of mine has ever been a growler and biter and I dont plan on letting her become one either. So I had to pick up the pieces ( pun intended) and go back to bed.

So here we are tonight, and I cant wait to get the carpet clean tomorrow. I hate a dirty house. Hopefully I will have the energy and willpower to clean everything top to bottom so I can relax. I realize that with all the animals we have, the house will never be spotless and I just have to accept that. But I still like to have a clean comfortable cocoon to live in. Ah, well, everything can be cleaned, and eventually we can redo the bathrooms and replace the carpets and flooring.

This week was interesting at work. I got to stay in the case management office most of the week and actually got to help some people and answer some questions. Some real doozies came in too. Oh, there was this lady who announced that she and her kid had scabies. Yikes! And the very nice albeit strange man in the elevator that weighed about 400 pounds and was wearing a pimp hat and santa clause pants. REALLY, I am not making this up. My bosses catch phrase is "people are crazy and they all come here". Speaking of my boss, we went to lunch together today. It was really nice and I enjoyed talking with her away from the office. I was headed out the door and she asked where I was going and I said Mcdonalds and she asked if I would mind her tagging along. It was fun.

I hope that I learn a lot and quickly. There is so much to learn and I want to be good at my job. Sometimes I just feel a little panicked and thing I will never get all of it. But I have been around the block a few times and know that I can do it. Patience.

And Anita and Lisa have been really kind to me. They have only been there for a little while and they are telling me that they felt the exact same way. I like these people. Still, they are not Karen. But I feel like I carry a piece of Karen with me every day. I think about her and talk about her, and bring her into the conversation a lot. Most days I feel like picking up the phone and calling her to see how she is, but I know that she is busy and cant talk and dont want to bother her.

My eyes have really been bugging me lately. Must be allergies because they are swollen and itchy and teary. I hope to "beauty" myself up and get in good shape. I just need the inspiration and the willpower. Hmmm... didn't I just say something about that when talking about cleaning the house? Hannah just called to see if they could come over tomorrow and so now we are having company. I dont mind, except that I wont get to clean as much as I wanted to. But thats ok, I will clean after they leave. Chip and I enjoy the company.

Well, maybe I better go and get a start on the cleaning so the house is nice for our company tomorrow.

I wonder, do those crazy people look at us and think that we are the crazy ones?

Take Care All