Still Searching For My Purpose

This is so funny. I am still trying to find my path in life, my purpose. For the last very long while I wanted to act, but now I'm realizing that that is not gonna happen. The daydreams are great, but the reality is that : 1. I have no talent 2. I have never tried acting before 3. there is no place around to even try. Also realized that I probably will never meet Ron Perlman, who is like my hero actor. So this path has led me nowhere, and this has been very disappointing for me. So since things were not exactly working out on that path, I have formally decided to open myself up to finding another. I hope that I will be guided in the right direction. It is not that I am giving up on my former quest, just that it was not going well, not bringing happiness and fulfillment, and I take that to be a sign that it is not the correct path for me. It is kind of sad to resign myself to this fact. Almost like breaking up with a lover or something. These dreams have been such a part of my life for so long, and I have been faithfully following them, but if it were meant to be then things would have run along a lot more smoothly than they were. " If you ain't having fun, then it's not working" I read that somewhere. So now to get real and start to be open for a new adventure. I will trust that the right stuff will come my way and that I can discover a path of happiness and fulfillment, peace and joy.

Besides, my life is great just the way it is. I just want to do something for my soul. Something that helps other people. I just realized that my first dream was selfish, just for me and not very practical. There is so much more to life than that. I cannot depend on others and fantasies to give me pleasure and happiness in life. I know my true purpose is in me, I just have to find a way to find it and follow it. After the last few months, I feel like I have been beaten up. That is for sure a sign to open up to new possibilities and let fate take me where I need to go. I was just so stuck on that one thing, that I blinded myself to all others. Well, now I am ready to allow the universe to take me under its wings and guide me, if it will. I will never win the Nobel Prize or anything like that, but if I can bring happiness to others, help them in some way, then that will be just fine with me. C'mon Universe, show me the way.