Do Ghosts Exist?

Do ghosts exist? Many people believe so and a lot of them don't. I know people who have seen and experienced ghosts, and are convinced of their existence. Myself, I have experienced something that I believe is a ghostly encounter, and so has Chip. So it really is just a matter of belief, or rather, what one is willing to believe. There are so many stories out there and some of them are true, while a lot of them aren't. Take the Amityville Horror, for example, where the authors swore it was a true story and then later admitted it was made up. But what exactly are ghosts? Are they the spirits of the departed, trying to communicate with the living? Are they just masses of energy that have not transformed yet? Are they malevolent, or benevolent? Or are they just entities that are passing into our dimension from their own. What if there are parallel dimensions through time and space, and people are living out their lives in each one, but in the past or future? And we happen to connect sometimes and experience what we believe are ghosts but may actually be past or future beings? Could this also be what causes "deja-vu"?
So what do you think?

Annie is growing like a weed and I was feeling a little melancholy about it last night. I am so enjoying her puppyhood, as I have wanted a puppy for so long. But it is so much fun to watch her grow and learn and to experience each new adventure through her eyes. She is so full of joy. So much energy. I miss Brandy still, and always will, but not with such an aching, searing pain in my heart like it used to be. She brought us to Annie, Annie is meant to be with us, and I believe that Bran is pleased. Its hard to describe, but my soul feels complete again, like something that was missing is there again.

The weather is getting cooler little by little and soon it will be nice enough to walk. We still have a horrible cold from last week and I feel yucky and out of it, but much better than last weekend when I could barely get out of bed.

Today was month end and I got all the deals NVDR'D and just have to complete two deals and all of them will be done. I am going to work tomorrow so I can finish them up and get a few other month end tasks done, since it's a holiday weekend. That way when I get back to work on Tuesday it will be a lot easier to get finished up and start on the new month.

My father is back in the hospital. He went in yesterday due to internal bleeding and they can't find where it is coming from and going to, only that he is very low on blood. He has recieved three units of blood since last night and says he is feeling better now. We just need to get him back in shape and feeling better. Now that they are living right down the street, it is easier for all of us, and I know he is really enjoying being here on the farm. I pray that he gets better and strong enough to do all the things he wants to do. Get well soon, Dad.

The latest issue of Fangoria has a great article on The Last Winter with Ron Perlman. Not much about Ron in there, but a great interview with Larry Fessenden. Maybe they will interview Ron at a later time. The movie may come out in theaters in September so I have my fingers crossed that it will show here in town and I can finally see Ronnie on the big screen.

Well, as usual, I am getting pretty tired. So much to say, so much to do... I have a lot of hopes in my heart right now, and just keep my fingers crossed, but I can't really talk about it just yet.

Love to all

My Friend

Normally I haven't had time to post during the week, but tonight I am making an exception. I fear I have hurt a dear friend, not intentionally, but nevertheless. This makes my heart ache, for I would never , ever do anything to hurt her. I have been very busy and self absorbed lately, but that is no excuse if I have been neglecting one of the most important friendships I have ever known.

You mean so much to me, and you are as much a part of my life as anyone I know. I have looked forward to our conversations, to our giving one another advice, sharing our hopes and dreams and fears. You are never unwanted. I will always make time for you, my friend.

I hope you know just how much you mean to me and that you will give our friendship a chance to blossom again. Just last night I was looking up at the sky and gazing at the stars and wondering.....

Things That Make You Go "Hmmmmm...."

Here we are, on a Sunday morning and I must admit I feel awful. Chip has given me his cold. Now, usually, he is a total baby when it comes to being sick, yet he was a real trooper this week with his cold- going to work each day and not really complaining. Well, for a change, I am being the complainer this weekend. I haven't been this sick in a long time and I don't like it. Yesterday I felt pretty good though as the cold was coming on and I got the whole house clean- all the laundry done, changed the bed sheets, scrubbed the bathtub and shower (!) , vacuumed and mopped all the floors, dusted, cleaned the refridgerator - well, you get it. Lots done. So at least that gives me a good excuse to lay around the rest of the day and be sick and foul tempered.

Around 3:00 we decided to go get some lunch ( bless his heart, Chip didn't want me to have to cook) and then stopped to rent some movies and get a few things at the grocery. We got a couple of pints of ice cream, he got Peanut Butter Chip and I got Black Raspberry Chip, and then went home with our "comfort" packages. The ice cream went down so fast I didn't know that I had eaten my whole pint. Well, so much for the diet, but it did make my throat feel a lot better. The stuff we got is nowhere near as good a Graeters, though.

That brings me to Harry. Tomorrow is his birthday and we have a great surprise planned for him. He is always buying us stuff and not taking any money for it, so we started a "Harry Fund" where we contributed the cost with the idea that we would use it to get him something nice for his birthday. Well, two months later and we have a pretty good sum, so we got him a gift card for his favorite resturant and Karen is picking up a chocolate mousse cake ( from Graeters of course), and Sally and I are baking cakes for him today, and we are decorating his office tomorrow morning. So this will be fun and I hope he is surprised .

Raka was not online for our chat Sunday ( unless I missed her somehow or my internet was acting up again) and she hasn't returned any of my emails. I hope she is ok, that is my main concern. But also I hope that she has not decided that she does not like me anymore. I can't imagine what I could have done to offend her, but I worry all the same. I am feeling a little abandoned here, by my friends both in the blogosphere and in my own neighborhood. Sigh. But Pat emailed me and let me know she got the dvd I sent her. I hope she enjoys it. She is actually the first person to mail me at my new address.

Being sick makes you a little needy, I guess :)

Annie is really coming along nicely. She went off yesterday to sleep in her favorite spot- behind the toilet. Yeah, well, I keep it clean in there so I guess thats ok, and besides, pretty soon she will be too big to fit in there. She has doubled in size, as I had mentioned, and her attitude has really gotten fun. She has a real personality, our girl. We are teaching her not to bite ( Chip came up with the method) and it is working very well. She is calming down and listening better.

Maybe later today I will feel like going to the farm to check the horses. We have to go get some protein tubs for the cows and if its not too hot I will go out and find them and give them a treat. It has just been so blasted hot out there.

Well, I feel really satisfed with my cleaning adventures yesterday. I am really compulsive about that. My house is by no means spotless, if so I would go totally insane trying to keep it that way with the animals and the farm and all. But I love to keep it tidy.

Well, I think I will go and blow my nose. Be well out there and always be kind to one another.

Life With Annie

Well, folks, it's been nearly 3 weeks and Annie has firmly planted herself into our hearts. I never doubted our choice once we had picked her up and taken her home, and I also never knew that I would fall in love so hard and fast. "You'll be reserved", I told myself. "No one will ever replace Brandy in your heart." So true. Yet I have discovered that there is a whole new place in my heart where Annie belongs. The other night , Annie and I walked to Brandy's garden and we had a chat. This is right, this is good. I feel whole and complete. We have come full circle. Fields of gold my old friend, love forever.

Annie is as smart as a whip and she knows it too. She is now barking to be let outside, and at night she wakes us like clockwork at the same time to relieve herself. ( I am getting used to lack of sleep) Now if she would just learn to settle down and snuggle in bed with us, and not try to eat us up. She is also having a ball following Whitey around and pouncing on Kiki. And she prances around like she just knows she is hot stuff. I still look at her and feel that thrill in my heart at the realization that she truly is here with us. Our puppy.

We got our high speed internet installed last night and I can't believe the difference! Night and day. The above picture downloaded in less than a minute, rather than the usual 30 minutes it used to take. Yeeeeee!! Now I just have to get the email part switched over and tidy things up and we are in good shape.

It is still very hot here. Record heat, no rain. Desert. But the cows seem to be doing ok. People are losing patience with one another due to the weather, tempers flare. Just stay out of my way, people and I'll stay out of yours :)

Work was hard this week. Lots of deals and lots of problems, but I got all caught up for the weekend. Also, sadly, Jon quit this week. Something happened, we are not sure what, but he walked into Kathy's office, handed in his dealer tags and started to cry. He was so choked up he didn't even say goodbye to us. Breaks your heart because he is one of the good guys. Jon, I wish you well in your travels, and know that you will find your purpose and be fulfilled. Travel safely, my friend, God speed.

Plus, things have been a little strained lately there. Frustrations galore. Some people do nothing, while others must take up the slack along with their own full plates. Karen and I have not been as close as we had in the past. We have to be careful what we say, and not spend as much time together as we had been. I remember when we started getting really close and how wonderful it felt to have such a friend. My heart was lifted and I felt like I really belonged. Now we are being watched by jealous eyes and must be discreet. It is as if we are having some torrid affair or something. For God's sake, we are just friends who have a lot in common and get along well, but other peoples feelings are causing us to back away, in order to spare ourselves the drama. I am sad and hurt because I would like us to be like we used to before all of that, like sisters, frick and frack, the Bobbsey twins. We have not gone to lunch, or shopping, and Karen has not been out to visit for a long time now. I miss my Karen Lee Lee. I hope things change so we can do lunch together again like we used to and not have to worry about what so-and-so will have to say about it. Boy, "she" really does get mad when we talk to each other. Its kind of funny in a way.

I got a haircut yesterday and it is quite drastic. I told the girl to cut it a little shorter and easy to care for so she chopped pretty much all of it off, but I kind of like it and it is cool and easy. When I got back to work, the guys in parts were really complimenting me and that felt really good. Men usually don't even notice when you get a haircut, much less comment on it, so I was quite flattered. And when I got home I felt more energetic and refreshed than I had in a long while. As a matter of fact, I had a message on our new answering machine that I had been hoping to receive for months. All I can say right now is "keep your fingers crossed". Plus I cleaned the house last night and it felt relly clean and I felt really relaxed and excited. Ahhh!

Private for Karen: PAPAYA!!!!!

And now I am going out for a walk. I am feeling a little lonely since no one is emailing me lately. Hmmm. Does no one like me anymore?? I hope I still have some friends out there.

Love to you all

Friendship

How do you define friendship? I mean, what does it really encompass? Is it all about what the other person can do for you? Shouldn't it be about what the two of you do for one another? Should you allow other people to influence your friendships? There are so many levels of friendship, from the casual acquaintence to the very BFF, and so many in between. How often does one find that truly, honestly "best friend"? And what are the repurcussions of such a relationship?

I have been witness to ( and victim of ) many strange relationships that label themselves as friendships. Those that I have been a part of are of no consequence right now, as I am moving past those old hurts. They have been mulled over and over and have been put in their place in my pysche for future reference, and it appears as if I am calling upon them again in some ways,using them as learning experiences and basis on which I can judge and react to the new situations that I am experiencing.

There are some people that I know who have an incredibly disfunctional friendship. They call themselves best friends for life, but continue to use one another and dissappoint each other and really abuse one another. It is all about " what can you do for me?", rather than "what can we do for each other". Ah, yes, now I remember why I am a loner, always leery of a relationship that demands more than the slightest effort. When I have given whole heartedly of myself, it has always been used up and never appreciated. Though I had the purest intentions of true friendship, something always got in the way and for some reason or other I got betrayed. Hmmm. But "the Bank" really did shake my foundation because of that and I think you all who have been following my journey know that I am healing nicely now, thank you :) So it is no wonder that I am being a little cautious again as to protecting my feelings.

Why should we allow what other people think to come between a friendship? Can't we all be friends? I know someone who is experiencing a situation where she is in the middle of a jealous group who want each other all to themselves and detest the thought of "sharing" their friendships. What are they, in the second grade? Cant everyone just get along and be joyful when their friend is having a happy time, whether it includes themself or not? I, for one, am rarely included in any activities, mostly because I cannot take the time away from the farm and my lifestyle. ( or won't) But I am certainly happy when someone I care about does go out and has fun and enjoys themself.

I consider myself to be fiercely loyal, and I am just looking for someone to treat me in the same manner. I will always stick up for a friend, always be there with a strong shoulder, a kind word, encouragement and support. Love and humor. Isn't that what friendship is all about? What say you? I am really looking for your advice here.


Animals are purely selfish and yet can offer unconditional love. I don't believe in unconditional love, though. A person should earn your love and respect and if they do something awful, they are risking losing that love. I will never continue to love someone who constantly walks all over me and uses me.I may choose to forgive and continue the relationship, but I may not. Just like animals, we all have to survive and we learn what works in order to do so with the least amount of effort.

Wow, I am sounding really down, aren't I? Just that this has been on my mind and I need an outlet. And this is a universal dilemma. Everyone has been used before, we all know the hurt it causes. How I wish it werent so, for all our sakes. It is so nice to know people who really have your best interests in mind and want to be your buddy.

The weather is really nice this weekend and I have been cleaning up the yard. It would be really nice to get the place all cleaned up and in tip top shape for fall. Fall is the best time of the year when things start winding down and getting ready for the winter. You begin to feel all nesty and cozy. Annie and I took a walk to see the horses again. And Chip said he saw a huge coyote yesterday running around the farm, so I have to keep a close eye on Annie to be sure she comes to no harm. I stepped on her foot this morning and she cried and limped around and it broke my heart, I was so afraid that I'd hurt her badly. But she is fine and bears me no ill will.

The mornings are brisk and cool and when the sun rises over the treeline, it is pure beauty. This is a wonderful place. Since I am walking again, I am feeling more a part of the place. There is so much beauty here, pure and simple.

I watched Rons appearance at the "Ron con" in 97 and it is great. Pat is so lucky to have been there. God, to be near that man! When I confessed that my dearest dream is to meet him, Pat told me to never give up on those dreams. Thank you , Pat, for the encouragement.

I just had a funny memory. When I was at Butler Tech and Sue was teaching typing, she always got on me for looking at the keyboard and for not keeping my hands in the proper position. And here I am a year and a half later and doing the same thing but typing pretty quickly. Sometimes we have to do things in our own way.

You know, I have made this quite a long post but the words just keep spilling out of me. I must have needed this. That whole friendship thing has been on my mind for a couple of weeks now.
that, plus the actions of others have caused quite a bit of frustrations at work. You know, I am fairly easy going and I don't like all that drama. I just want to come in and do my job and make a difference. We need to find contentment in our own actions and not be concerned by those of others. If so and so is getting away with ( really bad) murder and no one is saying boo to them, well, there is not much I can do about that and why make myself crazy over the injustice of it all, but just continue to make my own art and mind my own business.

Well, I have lots of errands to run, and lots I want to do today. I am waiting for Raka to come online so we can chat before I go do my chores, because I told her that I would be here to talk to her today and I intend to keep my word. Isnt that what friends are for?

Irrational Fears

There are things we fear that are reasonable and just, and then there are some things we are afraid of that are just really ridiculous. Some fears that make sense would be, losing a loved one , your health, your job, natural disaster etc. Then we have the truly outrageous, and I am prepared to share some with you from my very bizarre childhood.

1) From as early as I can remember, when I was still in a crib, I feared a "boogeyman" who looked a lot like Dracula, who would come into my room and eat my ears, fingers and toes if I was not totally covered with the blanket. I actually believed that I saw him once, thus deepening my fears. I didn't start to uncover my head until I was a young adult.

2) As a teenager, all pointy and sharp things had to be facing away from me, even pencils. If they were pointed in my direction, they might just take off and fly right into me and stab me.

3) A large stuffed horse I had that stood about 3 feet tall was "possessed". At night in the dark, his eyes would glow red.

Probably most of this had to do with the influx of horror movies that came with my generation. We had Friday the 13th, Halloween, The Amityville Horror, Alien, Nightmare on Elm St, etc. I can remember being scared out of my wits after watching some of those, yet I loved them. Now, I am not afraid of the dark ( never was) and actually embrace the unknown ( but not Freddy Kruger).

So, I have bravely bared some of my secrets. Does anyone have any to share?

Wowie, we had a super Ron-a-thon last Saturday. It was incredibly hot and we didn't feel like doing anything. I got the mail and there, tucked into the mailbox was a package from Pat with tons of Ron Perlman footage! She had copied come of his movies and conventions that I had been looking for, and sent them to me. I was in heaven, and Chip enjoyed the movies too. So we lazed around all day and watched the discs and had a great time. It is so exciting to add these to my collection. There are only a few left that I am still looking for. Pat, you are truly an angel. I can never express how much what you did means to me. Thank you my friend!

Annie: What a delight she is! Already she is housetrained, and will just get up and walk outside to go potty. For the most part she sleeps through the night only waking at 2 or 3 and then 6. We need to come up with some games for her to keep her occupied. She has been chewing a lot lately, but that is to be expected. She's teething and its normal for her to bite right now. We are working on getting her past that stage. Its really great to come into the house after a hard days work and have this little fur missile launching itself at you in a frenzy of happiness. I took her for a walk tonight and we went to see the horses. Nothing really unusual happened, the horses seemed unconcerned, and Annie wasn't overly interested in them. She did enjoy the piles of manure though. Ah, life on a farm.

The heat wont quit and it still hasnt rained. Just have to keep praying for some good soakers to get the pastures back in shape. And speaking of back in shape, I am officially on a diet and exercise regime. Now lets see if I can stick to it. I gained some weight back when I started working again, and that really stinks. So as long as I can remember how good it felt to shed those pounds and how great I looked, I should be able to discipline myself.

Finally, signed up for high speed. It will be installed next Thursday, and I am hoping to be able to download and watch things a lot faster. This dial up has really been getting on my nerves and it takes so long to do anything.

Here is a question to my blogger friends:

What kind of features should I be looking for in a new notebook computer? Any suggestions on brands? What do you like or dislike about yours if you have one?

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. Remember, just let your frustrations go. The only person you have control over is yourself, so concentrate on that and let everything else just roll off your back. Life is meant for joy and happiness, so don't allow others to spoil that.

Love to you all,

Life is Good

This has been a week to remember. Nothing really incredible happened, just a bunch of little warm fuzzy things that make you feel content and happy. Annie has settled in quite well and I truly believe that she is a puppy genius. It is so amazing to see her little tail wagging 100 miles a minute when she sees us, or when we praise her for going potty outside. And she is still trying to figure Kiki out. Kiki, who doesn't move much, must look like a mountain with fur to Annie and she is intrigued with this black giant. But Kiki doesn't particularly want to bond with Annie and she barks at her and lunges at her a bit, but of course, she has no teeth, so we can truly say her bark is worse than her bite. And Annie just keeps trying to befriend her. She has now taken to barking back with her little yip yip yip voice, and it is just precious to see her racing up to Kiki and nipping at her then jumping back. And she is sleeping through the night for the most part, so thats good. But I still have to get her up at about 2:00 to go out and then again at 5:30. Then its back to bed with us for a snuggle session before we have to get up for work. And you know what? She is totally beautiful, and not afraid of anything. She explores the house with fierce bravery, and my books all say that this is very good.

We had a talk with Brandy at her garden the other night. I feel so much at peace with this new little bundle of love we have been blessed with, and know that we have Bran's blessing as well.It just feels so good, so right. Did fate point us in the right direction? My answer, unequivocally YES!

Work has been neither hard nor stressful lately. Let's hope that it continues this way. Perhaps I am coming into my own now. Even after taking Monday off, I had no stress catching up and getting everything done. This is something to remember. There have been some interesting incidents at work, but none that really have the power to bother me. Compared to the bank, this place is a piece of cake. And I work hard and do my job, so no one should have any complaints.

I am worried about a friend of mine, two friends really. They have both been depressed lately and have definitely got something on their minds. One I have told not to worry, there is plenty of time to find a solution. I realize that I really care for this person and feel committed to helping in any way that I can. This person needs to start being a little more "selfish" and start taking care of their own needs and not worry so much about taking care of other people. I need to realize though that my advice may not be welcome, and I should wait to be invited to offer it.

Do you ever wonder why some people are drawn to you and others repelled? If I am the same person with the same personality, then what makes the difference? Why do some people go out of their way to be nice, and others just don't care? I bet a lot of you have those same questions.

I wonder how many people read this blog? Do people just pull it up randomly and like what they read? How can I improve it? What would they like to know and read about?

Ron Perlman: The Last Winter is set to come out in September. Hopefully it will come to a theatre near us. Can't wait to see. Ronnie on the big screen would be a great thing. Nothing new to report in the way of collectibles. I was able to get a copy of Picture Windows, so that is now added to my list. Wonder how he is doing, now that they are filming HB2. I hope well and happy. God, the man is a great actor.

All of a sudden I am desperately tired and I know I have been blah, blahing on. I think I will go get a nice shower and settle in with a magazine. There are all these words in my heart that I would like to blog about, but they never come out on the screen like I had intended. Well, someday maybe I will strike the right notes and create a work of art.

Love and Peace to you all!

100th Post

Wow, hard to believe that we are at this milestone on RamblingRonandRon. Seems like just yesterday that I started the blog. It is a record of my achievements, thoughts, adventures, searches for purpose. So many things. In these posts, I have chronicled the words from my heart, have bared my soul, have grieved and healed. I have truly come a long way from this time last year. The journey has been difficult at times ( though my life is as perfect as I can possibly wish for). Being depressed is no fun, nor is being ill. Now I feel strong, well and confident.

Thank you to all the people who have read and commented on these pages. I truly hope you enjoy. There are so many wonderful friends I have made through blogging. You are all very special, and I wish you love, joy, peace, happiness, health and success in all you do. I hope our friendships continue to grow and flourish through the years. Blessings to you all!

Blogging has become a great form of therapy for me. I can express my feelings as if this were a private journal, yet receive feedback from others, and still remain relatively anonymous. I realize that I am becoming less shy and a little more exibitionistic ( is that a word?), and really enjoy it when others read and enjoy my words. I do not want to be self-centered about it, but it is nice to know that some people like to read what I have to say.

Today we picked up Annie and brought her home. She is the sweetest, smartest little puppy!! Hmmm... Bran, is that you?? She pee'd and poo'd ( I am being demure here) as soon as we got home and put her on the grass. Good Girl!! And when we praised her for going, she wagged her little tail with delight. We stopped at PetSmart and got her a bed, some toys, food and a crate. Chip and I were really hesistant about the crate thing because we live on a farm and believe that they should all be free. But for her safety while she is still so little we needed to contain her at times. Well, she loves it! She has crawled in there three times on her own and taken naps. She sleeps for a while and then wakes up and comes bounding out ready to play. Oh Annie, I think you are going to be a great dog.

Welcome Home, Annie:

May I be worthy, God of new beginnings, of this wee one trotting in my wake. I'm already in love with this wriggly ball of fur with milky puppy breath, needle teeth as sharp as exclamation points, growls that sound like bees buzzing, and bright button eyes that've taken my measure in a heartbeat and know me for the infatuated fool I am. Bless us as we explore the world You've set before us. Down on my knees in the wake of a puppy, O God, is a wonderful place to meet You.

Margaret Anne Huffman

taken from the wonderful book, Animal Blessings by June Cotner


Just between you and me God, thank you for all the blessings you have bestowed upon us.

Love to all

Cindy

Busy Weekend

Today is the family reunion. Its going to be really hot and yucky out, and right now I feel pretty yucky myself. We went to the campsite last night at about 8:30 to play cards and stopped on the way and picked up some beer and pretzels and salami and crackers. Silly me forgot to bring water, so we had a couple of beers and lots of salami. UHG! I feel awful today. All bloated and icky. How do people go out and drink all the time and enjoy it? And that was only after a beer and a half!A drinker, I'm not. Need some coffee.

Last night Valerie and her husband brought their dog Molly and she spent a lot of time with me getting pats. Dogs must know how much I love them. And when Chip got up yesterday, he was perplexed because Whitey didn't come and greet him as usual, so he went outside to look for her, and there she was, standing the fish pond! She must have fallen in sometime and just stood there until he rescued her. Poor Whitey. So she got a nice bath, which she usually hates but was very good about this time, and I got the scissors and trimmed her up. Please, don't anyone ever let me cut your hair. If you saw Whitey, you would know exactly what I mean.

Paula called last night and said that Annie was to the vet and is ready to come home! I am so excited! Chip said, "isn't it a little early?" , but the breeder said that they were weaned, on regular food, and the vet cleared them to go home. I didn't want to have her keep the pup another week if her mommy isn't going to be near her and all her brothers and sisters are gone. So, I thought, "I know what I'll do!. I have to call Karen and tell her the great news." When Karen answered the phone she was at a resturaunt, and was distracted and couldn't hear me very well. When I told her the good news, guess what? She said the same thing as Chip! Thanks guys. Way to bum out a great time for Cindy. But anyway, just joking. I know they have my best interests ( and Annies) at heart. So I got out all my dog veterinary books and read up on weaning and the best time to bring home a new puppy, and we are ok, she is not too early.

But I did want to call Karen right away and let her know because she is my good friend and I want to share everything with her. Plus I have been a little distracted myself the last few days, with everything on my mind and with month end we haven't had a lot of time to just chat and have fun. Karen was able to show me how to do some of her busy work and I had time to help her on Friday a little bit. Karen, your friendship means so much to me. Normally, I am a loner. People have been cruel to me at times in my life and it has caused me to not trust. A bad trait of mine is that I give people way too much credit right off the bat without getting to know the real them. Then they end up disappointing me or worse. My fault, their fault or both? Don't know. But with Karen, I felt a bond, decided to open up and let her in, and we are having lots of fun.Its great when she comes over to ride Shadow and we get to just chat and hang out- stuff that normal people do all the time. Work has been so frustrating with some things that are going on and we need to stick together to keep our sanity. Not bad stuff for us really, just that some people are getting away with playing all day and being on MySpace, and not doing their work and no one is saying peep to them, while we are all working and picking up the slack and feeling used and abused. The best thing for our sanity is just to worry about ourselves and do our best and not worry about what other people are doing. But it sure is nice to have a friend at work, who shares your same interests and really seems to care about you :)

So today is going to be very busy and we will be at the reunion all day, and then tomorrow we will pick up Annie and go get her some supplies. We did think we'd have another week to get everything together, but like I said, I am not going to let her stay at the breeders all alone. Time to come home Annie.

Really been rambling all over the board today in this post, but I am pretty excited, and feeling nostalgic. And a little scared too. I hope Annie loves us and is happy here.

So, off to fix breakfast for my man! Love to everyone,

Cindy

Exciting Week

This week has been full of everything and nothing. Sunday Karen came over and we got Shadow and saddled him up for her and she got on him and they just took off like she has been riding all her life. Great job, Karen and Shadow. Now I have someone to ride with.

I wonder if Karen minds that I mention her so often in my blog? I guess she would say so if she did. Hope you don't mind, friend, cause you are a big part of my life. After riding, we walked down to the farm to get Chip and go back for lunch. We grilled some burgers and sat around and talked (read: complained ) haa haa. Karen gave me a beautiful horse charm that I put on my rearview mirror for good luck. She and Zoey also got a present for Annie already. Hope you come back out soon, Karen Leelee.

Pat is going to copy some of the Ron Perlman movies that I have been looking for forever and just can't find. I am so excited about that!! My goal is to own all of Ron's movies and as many magazine articles and collectibles that I can. Of course the biggest goal is to meet him. Sigh!
Pat, you are wonderful to do this for me and it means so much. And Nancy is going to copy Rons episode of Picture Windows for us so I can send that to Pat for her collection, too. Its a lot of fun sharing! Golly, Ron, you sure have some great fans out there. I so wish he would come to a convention close so I could get to meet him.

Work was amazing this week. It was month end and everything went so well that I had no stress whatsoever! Woo Hoo! As the months go by, I get faster and more confident, and things seem to get easier. When you think about it, I have learned quite a bit in the last few months and picked up a few new skills ( and a really great friend ). Even Pete has been acknowledging me lately, engaging me in conversation and whatnot. I think he appreciates the fact that I admitted to him this week that I had made a mistake of sorts, so he wouldn't blame Dan for it. There was a deal that I put to the side and held off processing because I couldn't get an incentive to go through and was giving it a couple of days to reset in the system. So it looked like Dan had turned it in late, and he would have been in trouble, but I told Pete that it was entirely my fault and explained to him why it was late. Maybe he knows that I am a good worker and just want to do the best job for him, and is beginning to trust me and my abilities now. And I was able to get caught up on all my month end stuff and all, so I am taking Monday off!!

The family reunion is Sunday and Chip is going to take Monday off and wants me to join him, so that is what I am going to do. Its going to be a real scorcher this weekend and probably will not be very comfortable at the campground, so we will be able to use Monday to rest from the weekend activities.

Really getting excited about Annie. I couldn't hardly sleep last weekend thinking about her, but have calmed down a little since. Two more weeks. There is a peaceful feeling about the whole thing, so I know it is right. Bran, I know we have your blessing. If Annie is half the dog you were, we are very lucky indeed. My Golden Girl.

Have you noticed how hard it is to not use the word "I"? It sounds so self-absorbed to continually use I "this" or I "that" but it is hard to express yourself in any other way. And since this is a personal account of my life, it has to be about me :) Haven't had much time at all to do any deep thinking or real soul searching. Tonight I am so tired that I am just blogging, then taking a cool shower and then probably bed. The house can wait till tomorrow to get cleaned.

Karen and I are going on a diet starting Tuesday. Harry brought us all Graeters ice cream this week and we are getting fat. ( well, I am anyway. Karen is a beanploe) Just going to have to really watch our eating and start working out and be committed to it.

So, hope everyone has a great weekend. Love one another and be kind.

Love Cindy