Friendship

How do you define friendship? I mean, what does it really encompass? Is it all about what the other person can do for you? Shouldn't it be about what the two of you do for one another? Should you allow other people to influence your friendships? There are so many levels of friendship, from the casual acquaintence to the very BFF, and so many in between. How often does one find that truly, honestly "best friend"? And what are the repurcussions of such a relationship?

I have been witness to ( and victim of ) many strange relationships that label themselves as friendships. Those that I have been a part of are of no consequence right now, as I am moving past those old hurts. They have been mulled over and over and have been put in their place in my pysche for future reference, and it appears as if I am calling upon them again in some ways,using them as learning experiences and basis on which I can judge and react to the new situations that I am experiencing.

There are some people that I know who have an incredibly disfunctional friendship. They call themselves best friends for life, but continue to use one another and dissappoint each other and really abuse one another. It is all about " what can you do for me?", rather than "what can we do for each other". Ah, yes, now I remember why I am a loner, always leery of a relationship that demands more than the slightest effort. When I have given whole heartedly of myself, it has always been used up and never appreciated. Though I had the purest intentions of true friendship, something always got in the way and for some reason or other I got betrayed. Hmmm. But "the Bank" really did shake my foundation because of that and I think you all who have been following my journey know that I am healing nicely now, thank you :) So it is no wonder that I am being a little cautious again as to protecting my feelings.

Why should we allow what other people think to come between a friendship? Can't we all be friends? I know someone who is experiencing a situation where she is in the middle of a jealous group who want each other all to themselves and detest the thought of "sharing" their friendships. What are they, in the second grade? Cant everyone just get along and be joyful when their friend is having a happy time, whether it includes themself or not? I, for one, am rarely included in any activities, mostly because I cannot take the time away from the farm and my lifestyle. ( or won't) But I am certainly happy when someone I care about does go out and has fun and enjoys themself.

I consider myself to be fiercely loyal, and I am just looking for someone to treat me in the same manner. I will always stick up for a friend, always be there with a strong shoulder, a kind word, encouragement and support. Love and humor. Isn't that what friendship is all about? What say you? I am really looking for your advice here.


Animals are purely selfish and yet can offer unconditional love. I don't believe in unconditional love, though. A person should earn your love and respect and if they do something awful, they are risking losing that love. I will never continue to love someone who constantly walks all over me and uses me.I may choose to forgive and continue the relationship, but I may not. Just like animals, we all have to survive and we learn what works in order to do so with the least amount of effort.

Wow, I am sounding really down, aren't I? Just that this has been on my mind and I need an outlet. And this is a universal dilemma. Everyone has been used before, we all know the hurt it causes. How I wish it werent so, for all our sakes. It is so nice to know people who really have your best interests in mind and want to be your buddy.

The weather is really nice this weekend and I have been cleaning up the yard. It would be really nice to get the place all cleaned up and in tip top shape for fall. Fall is the best time of the year when things start winding down and getting ready for the winter. You begin to feel all nesty and cozy. Annie and I took a walk to see the horses again. And Chip said he saw a huge coyote yesterday running around the farm, so I have to keep a close eye on Annie to be sure she comes to no harm. I stepped on her foot this morning and she cried and limped around and it broke my heart, I was so afraid that I'd hurt her badly. But she is fine and bears me no ill will.

The mornings are brisk and cool and when the sun rises over the treeline, it is pure beauty. This is a wonderful place. Since I am walking again, I am feeling more a part of the place. There is so much beauty here, pure and simple.

I watched Rons appearance at the "Ron con" in 97 and it is great. Pat is so lucky to have been there. God, to be near that man! When I confessed that my dearest dream is to meet him, Pat told me to never give up on those dreams. Thank you , Pat, for the encouragement.

I just had a funny memory. When I was at Butler Tech and Sue was teaching typing, she always got on me for looking at the keyboard and for not keeping my hands in the proper position. And here I am a year and a half later and doing the same thing but typing pretty quickly. Sometimes we have to do things in our own way.

You know, I have made this quite a long post but the words just keep spilling out of me. I must have needed this. That whole friendship thing has been on my mind for a couple of weeks now.
that, plus the actions of others have caused quite a bit of frustrations at work. You know, I am fairly easy going and I don't like all that drama. I just want to come in and do my job and make a difference. We need to find contentment in our own actions and not be concerned by those of others. If so and so is getting away with ( really bad) murder and no one is saying boo to them, well, there is not much I can do about that and why make myself crazy over the injustice of it all, but just continue to make my own art and mind my own business.

Well, I have lots of errands to run, and lots I want to do today. I am waiting for Raka to come online so we can chat before I go do my chores, because I told her that I would be here to talk to her today and I intend to keep my word. Isnt that what friends are for?