Countdown

This has been a crazy two days since I have given notice. I feel so elated and also sad at the same time. I will only really miss two people and that is Karen and Harry. Pam was also very nice to me, but since she works in a totally different department and I hardly ever see her, it won't be as difficult to say goodbye to her. At this point I am getting some feedback from people that I didn't really interact with a lot. Jeff from parts said he will hate to see me go. I know it is probably just polite talk, but it makes me feel good. And it will really be hard to leave Karen and Harry. But they will have each other and maybe they can stick together. They both are in the rut where they feel they are making so much money there ( not nearly enough for what they do though) and couldn't possibly make that amount somewhere else. So they are basically stuck there. I know from experience that that is not true. But I have always been willing and able to take a pay cut in order to get a better opportunity ( even if it meant not working at all to escape a bad situation). I have been blessed for that. Chip has been so understanding and supportive of my work life. And again he encouraged me to "go for it".

I have learned a lot at Northgate. A whole new system of accounting, and how to process car deals and titles. I have become a notary. Karen made me feel great today when she said that I have learned faster than anyone she has known in that position, even people who had some experience already. Thats a true friend, who will compliment you. I have also learned a lot about human psychology. There are some real lulu's there. Freud would have a field day. Ah, the nature of the beast. I thought the ego's at the bank were bad, but car salesmen are really primitive in their personalities.

Now I am beginning a whole new adventure. I am really looking forward to this new challenge. I will be learning about a whole new business, new rules and regulations and standards of operation. The court systems are interesting anyway, but to be at the heart of all the action will be a lot of fun. And it is fairly altruistic work. I will be helping people in some ways. Yes, I am really excited. But I will truly miss my dear friend, Karen. I know that I will keep up our friendship, and hope she does the same. I have never felt so close to anyone before. It is scary to admit that to myself, because of my history of betrayal by "friends", but if you dont open your heart and give people a chance, you will never know. I gave Sally a chance also. And maybe that didn't work out so well, but I did my part and can look in the mirror and say that I gave her the benefit of the doubt, and if she didn't rise to the occasion, then that is her problem and not mine. I am proud of myself for being big enough to include her and befriend her. Two faced and back stabbing? Maybe. But she didn't really cause me too much grief that I know of, and if she tried, then that is her bad Karma to overcome.

This week I came to the realization that some of the people there are actually my teachers. Stephanie has been a challenge. A sweet giving person, but a horrible work ethic, and not very charitable to others feelings. How frustrated I have become over her shoddy workmanship. And then the epiphany. She is there to teach me patience and acceptance, to not judge others but to mind my own business and to concentrate on my own shortcomings. I know that this is hard for a lot of people to understand, but I feel like a better person for coming to realize these things. Another thing is that Sally said something to the effect of,"well what kind of qualifications do you need to get that job?" and intimated that I was not qualified for it with my background. ( which of course she knows nothing of. No one there knows all the things I have done and the experience I have. I have done far more in my life than most of them.) Karen got really upset on my behalf, which I appreciate. But if I don't let Sally's dig hurt me, then it can't hurt me. I just let it go and chalked it up to her problem, not mine. Obviously I have what they are looking for , because I got the job. But I dont have to explain myself to anyone, or prove myself to anyone. I know full and well what I am capable of, and instead of sitting there and complaining about how bad things are, I went out and did something about it. I am darn proud of myself. That place was really dragging me down. It is better to be a mystery.

So I am getting back to my old spiritual self again. I am trying to shed all those frustrated and unhappy feelings from Northgate. Yeah, I do give people too much credit too soon, but I am a good person and I feel good about how I treat others. I guess I need to get a thicker skin and be a little more suspicous of people before I let them into my world, but every person has a lesson to offer. This place was nowhere near as bad as the bank, and the people, while annoying and pathetic, are nowhere near as dangerous and cruel as at the bank. I think I am gaining wisdom. And that, my friends, is one of the reasons we are here.

So follow along on my adventure, see it through my eyes. And please, share with me any advice you care to offer. I still have a lot to learn :)