Lazy Weekend

What a lazy weekend this has been! The weather has been all gloomy- cold and rainy, so we have pretty much stayed in. Saturday started with a trip to the bank to sign some IRA paperwork, then on to the grocery ( believe it or not). Chip hates shopping, but we went to pick out a few new foods that he thought he would like to try. Really this blood glucose thing is not so bad. His numbers are going down and he says he is feeling much better. Now we just have to lose some weight and get some more exercise. All in all it can be a win/win situation. Eat healthy, lose weight, get fit, get healthy. Then we watched a movie, then had a nap.

Boy, this is going to be a boring post. Probably all of my posts are some degree of boring. When I am writing just for me, its like - hey, whatever. But now that I know people are reading this blog, I feel a bit of an obligation to them to be more interesting and entertaining. It is thrilling to know that someone actually reads what I write and has an opinion on my words. Like I have mentioned before, I have always liked to write but have been too afraid that people wouldn't like what I had to say, so have censored myself, and not pursued that venue too aggressively. Really, this blog is fun for me because I can open up and let my true feelings out. It is a journal, and a record of events and thoughts that I would like to remember. For instance, things that happen at work. On very busy days when I feel overwhelmed, I can revisit these pages and be reminded of the many days that were mind-numbingly boring. It helps me to know that I have made accomplishments, and can do those things again.

I am a big believer in "signs" and have touched on that subject many times here. Someone recently reminded me of some of the more pivotal moments that I had written about - the dimes, the lady in the grocery, the old golden. You cannot argue the fact. These are absolutely signs that someone is out there watching over us. I am not necessarily speaking on religious terms, although that is a wonderful way to view it. It is really just however you want to think of it. I truly believe that our loved ones who have passed on are out there still , haven't forgotten us.

I remember how I was searching for my purpose. Still am, really. But I am much more content with just being who I am now. As we grow older and mature, we realize that our dreams are sometimes just that. While I have always dreamed of being an actress, I know that there is a very slim chance of that happening. Oh, and to meet Ron Perlman. Well, that may happen yet someday, but then what? Sometimes the fun is in the pursuit of your dreams, not the attainment. But as I have realized, and noted in this blog, the Universe may have a different idea for me, a much better plan. Some things that are possible : to write, to help the animals, to be an advocate for the elderly, to teach. But I have to say, I am very happy and content where I am right now and am touching upon all of those things in some ways now. I am fiercely devoted to the animals. I love to show children the farm and teach them about farming and farm life. I am writing this blog. Maybe my life has more purpose than I am giving it credit for :) And I would not give up the life that I already have for anything.

I ran into my old best friend from high school, Carolyn Harmon on Friday. Now theres a lesson for you. I have run into her on occasion and have thought about her often. We were very close friends in school, then really drifted apart and on our last few meetings, Carolyn has seemed uncomfortable around me. Like maybe she really doesn't want to see me at all. Funny, cause I really used to think about her a lot and wish to get back in touch. But after Friday, I have realized that that is a chapter of my life that has closed and is best left that way. Not sure what I did for her to be so uncomfortable around me, but that is her choice. We were such good pals, but that was then - nearly 25 years ago.There are many new chapters of my life now and I can file hers away. Thats just how things are. And Raka, my beloved friend, has been dealing with kind of the same issues. Maybe she can learn through my experiences and feel better for them. There are some people that you just outgrow, no matter how much you enjoyed them in the past. But there are some who remain in your heart forever. Raka is one such person for me. Another is my old friend Ron Waite, whom I had lost contact with 25 years ago as well. Never met- just penpals ( on real paper, through the mail). I think about him often and hope that he is well and happy.

So that is my reminiscing. I am waiting for Raka to come online for our chat, but have to go here soon to help Chip pull down hay from the hayloft. Little cow had a bull calf this morning and he seems to be in good shape. And I am making "healthy" chili tonight for dinner. Last night I watched ProLife again with the directors commentary, so that was entertaining. And today I ordered the second season of Beauty and the Beast. So my Ron Perlman collection continues to grow. Hows this for a dream fantasy: to meet Ron Perlman and get to do a movie with him on a beach? That would wrap up a lot of my dreams at once.

May all of your dreams come true.