AUGHHHHHH!!!!!

Well, my friends, this has been one hell of a week. We were so incredibly busy at work that I hardly had a moment to think. Not only was it busy, but the wierdest things were happening as well. Crazy deals with all kinds of things that I have never done before. And Jon had me in tears on Thursday because of Dan. Seriously, I was thinking that it just isn't worth it to go through all the stress. But then I came to my senses. I love this job. It is challenging and exciting and I have become close to some people and don't want to leave that behind. Remember, I have posted times when it was soooo boring I thought I'd lose my mind, so I know it will ebb and flow like that. Just so there aren't too many days like yesterday! And Karen was even more swamped than me. I wish I could help her more, because not only did she have her own work to do, but Kathy dumped a big project on her right at payroll time. And I was so swamped that I couldn't help. But really, when I left, most everything was caught up and I feel a lot better about things.

Karen has become a close friend. I am so scared of trusting someone. ( The only person I have let into my heart recently is Raka, my dear friend). After all the betrayals I have endured, it is hard to really open up to someone and share your deepest thoughts with them. In Raka and Karen, I feel like I can start to trust again. It would devistate me if they were to betray that trust. On this blog no one knows me. I mean, I can share my feelings and expose myself anonomously, and nobody sees me in person. Raka knows my heart. And now Karen is getting to know me. I don't know if she likes what she sees, but I hope so. It is so nice to have friends to talk to about my life and feelings. And I love to hear about them as well.

So with the week being as busy as it had been, I haven't had much time to do anything more than fix dinner, shower and crawl into bed and read a few pages of Marley and Me. It is a really good book. I am already hooked and have only read about 20 pages. It's so nice to know that there are other people out there who feel about their dogs the way I do.

I have a poem in my heart, but it is not quite ready to come out yet. I will know when it is.

Ron Perlman has not been up to much as far as I can tell. I guess soon he will be filming Hellboy II and there will be lots of articles about that. Nothing new to add to my collection lately. I did pre-order those dvd's, but they probably won't come for quite some time. Really, I have been too tired to even think about it.

Looking forward to learning to drive my Mustang. It has been rainy and nasty for the last few days, so we haven't gone out driving. Hopefully this weekend we will, and if I get good enough, I can drive it to work next week.

I think I am coming down with something :( A lot of people at work are sick, and now I feel a scratchy throat and headache coming on. Mind over matter. I will think myself well.

Today was not so bad as yesterday, and as I was walking to my truck I looked down and found a penny. Pennies from Heaven. A sign?

Do you believe in soul mates? What is it that draws us to certain people, even if we don't know them well? Are they a part of our destinies? We encounter so many people in the course of our lives and most of them just pass by without much thought. But there are certain people you feel an affinity for, like you are meant to know them. Some are good for you, others aren't. Are they sent to us as lessons, a Karmic experience? I know that Nicole became a great learning experience for me in human nature and my own psyche. Painful as it was, I learned a valuable lesson from the bank and will carry that with me forever. We are all here to gain wisdom after all. And people like Raka and Karen and Chip and even Ron Perlman. What attracts me to them? Of course its their souls calling out to mine. Perhaps we were great friends in a past life. Perhaps we are meant to be great friends in this life. After so many years of "bad" friends, I am eager to have some real friends.

When I took up the tag a few days ago, I forgot to mention some other things I can do : Castrate a bull calf and A.I. a cow. How many people can say that? But there was only room for 7 things, so I am now listing them here.

I am hoping that the weekend is nice and relaxing. Saturday will be busy with Prudy and Mike and dealing on the van. But I hope to have some time to go out and walk the place. Last night I watched a big young buck and two does in the back yard. I mentally called out to them to stay on the place and they would be safe. No harm shall come to you here, my friends.

Well, I have been babbling on and on for a while and think its time to call it a night and relax. This has been a pretty boring post, so I will try to be more poetic next time.

Best wishes to everyone!